not much news today. the biggest story is that this picture of jennifer garner has everyone and their mom suspecting that a pregnancy is the reason that ben affleck recently asked her to be his bride.
we saw house of wax last night. despite our initial skepticism, we decided it was pretty rad. i mean, dean wouldn't make a bad movie, now would he? *spoiler* he definitely has the coolest death.
someone better put kelly osbourne on xanax before she loses her shit in the wrong place at the wrong time (4th item).
christina ricci loved working on the horror movie, cursed so much that she's decided to masquerade as a zombie in real life. i'm sorry, but no one should look that dead without makeup on at only 25. get some sleep, girl.
the british press really wants to insinuate that angelina jolie is an incestual pedophile. guess targeting michael jackson just got too boring.
tomkat: celibate, but kinky
gwyneth paltrow teaches little apple how to swim. we'd make some mean comment, but this picture is just too adorable.
add this to the list of biggest conspiracies after the false moon landing: oprah and steadman's secret love child.
mary-kate olsen has decided to take on a summer internship as a garbage man. either that or she's been raiding the jumpsuit section of chloe sevigny's closet. that girl has one big collection of jumpsuits.