Wednesday, March 16, 2005

head for the hills! it's evil kelly clarkson and she's thirsty for blood! we hear she's been waiting a lifetime for a moment like this when she can unleash her monster vengeance.

want to email your secret nerd crush, gideon yago? hit him up at gideonyago@hotmail.com. sure, he'll be expecting a message about his stolen laptop, but we're betting you can win him over with all those poems you've written about him over the years (ie, yago a go-go, ode to mtv news, osidian gideon).

seems like johnny knoxville has lost his shot with lindsay lohan. she got super pissed at the "jackass" when he ditched her outside a new orleans bar that wouldn't let her in. at least he has jessica simpson to fall back on.

though numerous tabloids are reporting that kate bosworth and orlando bloom have gotten back together, we hate to tell you that this is untrue. kate was merely meeting with orlando to pick up and visit with his dog.

is that jared leto or a member of kings of leon. we can't tell the difference. don't you just love a hipster in a western shirt?

don't put ashton kutcher in khakis or he might offend you. that's what happened when he was asked to start the daytona 500 last month. now the gap is really rethinking that summer 2002 ad campaign. oh, and it looks like his girlfriend (though women in their 40s really shouldn't be called girls, should they?), demi moore is definitely pregnant.

you can blame paris hilton for pretty much anything these days - case in point: nick carter blames his heiress ex for his drunk driving arrest earlier this month. apparently he's still drowning his sorrows over their break up last year in alcohol.

it appears as though jane fonda's own life inspired her erotic cult film, barbarella. she reveals in her upcoming autobiography that the movie's director, and her ex-husband, roger vadim often forced her into orgies with other women.

you know, pink, you're a rebel and all, but you really shouldn't be smoking while you're pregnant, okay? not to mention the possibility of cigarette burns on your new yves saint laurent purchases.

the musical manchild is ready to expand his empire. justin timberlake is going to launch his own record label. and he's working on his second solo album (finally).

god should really teach nicole kidman about the purpose of prayer. the actress claims that, as a child, she used to pray to be turned into a witch. the man upstairs made her an ice queen instead.

drew barrymore continues to rock her new equestrian streetwalker look. miss barrymore, we hate to break it to you, but even a streetwalker wouldn't be caught dead in those ensembles.

it's a sad day when the da vinci code manages to weasel itself into the fashion world. doesn't anybody realize how completely cheesy that book is?

renee zellweger just can't resist musicians. first jack white, then damien rice and now paul mccartney? she's confessed she has a crush on the former beatle. sorry, renee, he's married.

"where's my kevipoo, ya'll? i bought this pretty pink sundress for him and the mother chucker can't even get his broke ass over here." britney spears admits that her first marriage to jason alexander was a cry to her parents and that she didn't realize that it was legally binding. guess she is as stupid as we all thought.