Tuesday, March 01, 2005

gwyneth paltrow decides that breast pump shopping is a private affair, leaving baby apple at home. too bad the paparazzi decided to invite themselves along. and it seems as though she's learned her lesson when it comes to her vespa. gwyneth's scooter was recently towed when she parked it illegally on the sidewalk while running some errands. she left it behind for this trip. and for the record, she and husband, chris martin are not "on the rocks". she didn't bring him to the oscars because she didn't want their relationship to undergo red carpet scrutiny. plus, he didn't know what to wear.

you want to sell men's clothes? try putting a hot woman in them. that's what dolce and gabbana are doing. the duo is having eva mendes model their menswear line - one piece at a time. we can't wait to see her in just the vest.

ben kingsley's separation is so fresh that his wife's side of the bed is still warm. but that hasn't kept the sexy beast from moving onto a new little woman. he was overheard at a post-oscar party telling winona ryder, "i'm totally available!"

hollywood stalker news: halle berry has received a restraining order against the stalker who believed she wanted him to move in with her. meanwhile, a drifter who's been accused of stalking mel gibson will act as his own lawyer in his trial for breaking a restraining order gibson received against him. good luck, dude.

jessica simpson's recent hospitalization has shed off all of the last bits of body fat she had left. check the tiny space she's squeezed in between!

martha stewart will be a whole new woman when she's released from prison. she's lost 20 pounds in the slammer due to yoga and horrendous food. the domestic diva is now a size twelve, but still too big to fit into those seven jeans.

the real reason orlando bloom and kate bosworth broke up may have been because he was sick of the 22-year-old's girlish ways and prepubescent figure. if so, he's found the complete opposite in siren, salma hayek. the two were seen giggling and holding hands at a post-oscar event.

lizzie grubman's in trouble with the law again, but at least this time the only thing she ran over was a former employee's career. the ex-worker claims she was promised a role on grubman's upcoming mtv series as well as a partnership in her pr firm. she's suing for $6 million, but she should probably be thanking grubman for saving her from a life as a reality tv whore.

no, reese witherspoon is not munching on an oreo. she's applying lip balm. besides, she's too good a mother to ava to set a bad example by spoiling her supper with junk food.

celebrity kids are getting into trouble left and right: chaka khan's son, 25-year-old damien patrick holland was charged with shooting a 17-year-old boy, while judi dench's 32-year-old daughter was given a 3-month suspended jail sentence for driving drunk with her 7-year-old son in the car. for shame.

paris, it's safe to put britney spears's number in your next sidekick. she's retracted the comment she made about her dogs being cuter than your pooch, tinkerbell. in fact, she said, "i was just being silly and of course i think that tinkerbell is very cute. who knows? maybe they will have a little play date together!" as reward for clearing this up, we hope you and britney invite us along.

peta may be all for the ethical treatment of animals, but they sure don't care about the treatment of jennifer lopez. they will be protesting her sweetface line's use of fur outside virgin records where lopez will be making a promotional appearance for her new album, out today. maybe jen will "get right" and drop the fur in the spring 2006 line.

pamela anderson looked refreshed and gorgeous leaving a pre-oscar party. by refreshed and gorgeous we mean drunk and hideous.

carl winslow should have taken this family matter into his own hands. his tv daughter, jaimee foxworth has gotten into porn. wonder if she's done any scenes with steven urquelle.

speaking of tgif, mary-kate and ashley's uncle jesse can finally become their lover jesse, since john stamos is now officially divorced from rebecca romijn. it's cool; they were never actually related. and can you blame them? his hair is to die for.

and since we're on the topic of ashley olsen, it looks as though she may have had a late night with the uncle last night. we know a hungover mini-mogul when we see one.