Wednesday, March 09, 2005

britney, why do you have to make it so easy for us to tool on you? apparently she used the tote bag to tote her "bitch" bitbit into an italian restaurant that doesn't allow dogs.

rappers are so weird. 50 cent and the game are planning on ending their feud via a press conference starring the harlem boys choir. when the boy and i make up after an argument, we normally enlist the vocal stylings of rockapella.

sharon isn't the only member of the osbourne clan to have plastic surgery - ozzy recently admitted that he had a face lift and a nose job. couldn't you tell?

russell crowe claims that he figured into an al-Qaida plot to destabilize american culture, as the terrorists planned to kidnap him. he also claims that he is a target of alien abduction plans.

maggie gyllenhaal wants us to know she's a major movie star. just check out her accessories: a pair of oversized sunglasses and a friendly paparazzo.

sorry ryan, doesn't look like lindsay's going to make it to season three of "the oc". is julie cooper going to put a hit on her husband's illegitimate child?

if there's anyone out there who's still hoping to be a hanson, we have some bad news for you - little zac is following in his brother taylor's footsteps and marrying young. he announced that he is engaged and poked fun at taylor by adding, "no, she is not pregnant." now, only the ugly one is left.

leonardo dicaprio knew he was destined to lose the best actor oscar to jamie foxx, so he did what any true actor would do - he rehearsed the part of the good loser by practicing his reaction smile in the mirror before the awards.

is it just us or is ewan mcgregor looking a little metrosexual lately? between the product-laden hair, the leather-ish shirt and the eyeliner, he's putting kyan from "queer eye" to shame.

we didn't bother to report on the fact that fred durst was suing one of our idols, gawker, for linking to his sex tape because we figured the lawsuit wouldn't stick. we were right; durst sent gawker some flowers with a hand-written note to apologize. how sweet.

julia roberts is a new age mom. she's started meditating to cope with the stress of raising twins. julia, we suggest you consult deepak chopra.

marc anthony has painted a nude portrait of jennifer lopez from behind and she's smitten with it. we're smitten with her behind too.

matthew broderick and sarah jessica parker try to show a united front, despite the recent rumors that their marriage is in jeopardy...or maybe because of the recent rumors that their marriage is in jeopardy. they sure don't look too happy here.

bad news for perverts who love jaggers, good news for perverts who love lesbians.

tom cruise and sofia vergara have taken their relationship to the next level - he's met her mum. now, the purpose of the meeting we can't be sure of. it could be that sofia wanted to introduce her mother to her beau, or it could be that tom wanted to introduce another unsuspecting soul to the healing power of scientology.

renee zellweger brings some coffee to her new beau, damien rice. we always thought she was a coffee bean & tea leaf kind of gal. anyway, it seems this couple is moving along pretty quickly. word is, rice is camped out in renee's hollywood home.