Tuesday, February 15, 2005

we were devastated when we checked the yahoo news front page this morning and saw that no celebrity couples have announced that they got married last night. pitiful. demi moore was photographed on sunday wearing a hideous ring on her left hand that we can only assume means she's engaged to kelso, though. either that or they've both totally punk'd us.

ashley olsen is calling in the lawyers again. she's expected to announce a lawsuit against the national enquirer for a cover story they ran last week that claims she is involved in a drug scandal. the alleged scandal actually involves ash's boyfriend, scott sartiano. we all know mary-kate is the druggie, anyway.

greenwich village, say goodbye to gwyneth paltrow. she's put up her $8 million townhouse for sale and is now looking for a more manageable apartment. it's hard work keeping track of a baby and a brownstone.

lindsay lohan's played a plastic in the movies and now she's going to become plastic in real life. mattel has announced that it has created a lindsay lohan doll that will be on the shelves in july. the $30 toy comes with her own velvet rope. defamer has a picture of the monstrosity.

turns out it was orlando bloom's crazy filming schedule for the pirates of the caribbean sequels that caused his split with kate bosworth. she had hoped to be married in june, but he was busy with the movies. we hear you, orlando. we'd pick johnny depp over kate too.

oh, how sweet. nick lachey and jessica simpson had a perfectly timed kiss in a supermarket parking lot this weekend. no way it was just a physical way to deny those rumors they're splitting up.

speaking of getting physical, it seems like jessica's little sister ashlee isn't taking after her and saving herself for marriage. apparently, last summer, daddy simpson was enraged to discover little ashlee getting busy in jessica's tourbus with ryan cabrera. could this be the real reason behind their split?

steve bing has gotten the boot. the film producer who fathered elizabeth hurley's child is a free man again. he's been dumped by nicole kidman after four months of dating. sources claim the split is a result of bing's anti-marriage ideology, but maybe he's not a fan of the boob job.

this a big step down from cameron diaz. matt dillon, the m.i.a. actor whose brother is on "entourage", is dating one of the ladies on the latest season of "the apprentice", tara. he's got jungle fever.

if your singing style is more pyschedlic than sappy, there just might be a reality show for you. "search for the pearl" is a new show that plans to find the next janis joplin. the winner will tour with bands that joplin played with and will also take another little piece of her legacy.

dj am: check out this 97-pound babe i scored! she weighs about as much as one of my old butt cheeks. nicole: if you ask me one question about paris, i'll kill you.

drea de matteo has a little bit of portia derossi in her. it turns out the "sopranos" star has had her fair share of lesbian flings. maybe if they used this idea on "joey", the show wouldn't be so awful.

joss stone may be climbing the ladder to mainstream success, but she has a lot more to do before she's satisfied with herself. on her to acquire list: a brit, a grammy, an oscar, a white poodle and a baby. hey joss, we're pretty sure you can afford that poodle by now.

parker posey will serve as a guest judge during the finale of "project runway" next week. we wonder if she'll still have that crazy poodle hair from hurlyburly.

julia stiles isn't studying art history at columbia, but something tells us she's been getting a lot of art lessons lately. she's dating nyc artist, jonathan cramer and was seen snuggling up with him at joe's pub on friday night.

sarah jessica parker doesn't look like she borrowed from the gap's spring collection for this outfit. someone, quick, throw some red paint on her!