Thursday, February 10, 2005

wait, we're confused. kelly osbourne actually had a waist last night at the brit awards. well, at least our entire world conception hasn't been trashed; sharon still looks like a drag queen. big winners of the night were joss stone, franz ferdinand and britpoppa fave, scissor sisters.

in other huge news from britain, prince charles is finally engaged to his long-time lover, camilla parker bowles. the two shall marry in in april, but if charles susbsequently becomes king, she will not be queen, but rather princess consort. the two famously "consorted" while charles was still married to princess diana.

if this isn't huge news, we don't know what is. drew barrymore pulled a paula cole at a fashion show this week. that's right you guys, armpit hair. could drew have already made nice with fab? she and her rumored to be ex were looking very cozy the other day at nyc's p.j. clarke's.

lindsay lohan's flu has closed down production on her film, just my luck. it must have been vaporub she was sharing with samaire armstrong when they used the same stall at a club bathroom the other night.

it looks like jude law can't handle hot sex or hot sauce. on the set of his new movie, the crew persuaded him to try the local "insanity" hot sauce, having removed all nearby water. we bet he cried like a baby. way to give it to the pretty boy, guys.

poor renee zellweger, her friend kept her from reveling naked in a fairyland of drugs and experimentation.

gwen stefani put on her texas hair for the brits. she also put on a hell of a lot of pancake makeup. we bet it takes more than a kleenex full of ponds to get rid of that stuff.

roman polanski will testify via satellite from paris in a british libel suit, creating the world's first "virtual trial". polanski is suing conde nast for a vanity fair article that stated that he propositioned a woman on the way to his wife, sharon tate's funeral. he will not attend the trial as it may allow him to be extradited to the us for child molestation charges from 1977.

while jessica simpson is telling everyone who will listen that her marriage is fine and nick lachey is denying having hit on a blonde at a superbowl party last weekend, the ny daily news has it on high authority that he did hit on a blonde - and a brunette. the brunette was, in fact, one of their gossip columnists, jo piazza and the blonde was her best friend.

it sounds like kevin federline's upcoming "access hollywood" interview might have been less than truthful. while he told the show's billy bush of wife, britney spears, "i love her more than anything. i'll spend the rest of my life with her and deal with the good and the bad," the weekly tabs are reporting that their marriage is already on the rocks.

stereogum's got the latest gorillaz track, "dirty harry". these animated apes sure like clint eastwood.

cameron diaz goes out for a night on the town with her usual accessories: a l.a.m.b. handbag and a digital camera to shoot the paparazzi.

ashlee simpson is trying something new to help her ailing image: charity. she has joined forces with teen people to collect items from her celebrity friends to auction off, with the proceeds going to help tsunami victims. the items will go on ebay on monday.

poorly thought-out casting tip of the day: dakota fanning may play the role of regan in a remake of the exorcist (via pink is the new blog).

paris hilton will play barbara eden in the march 16 episode of "american dreams" in attempt to give life to the struggling show. just what every thirteen-year-old boy dreams of, paris calling them "master".

wanna see julia roberts's twins? you might not recognize them without their big, black mammy.

ashley olsen (with 30-something boyfriend, scott sartiano) looked intrigued by the collection at the baby phat show. maybe it's because, unlike her gaunt twin, she's still got a little bit of baby fat herself. speaking of the baby phat show, according to popbitch, the swag bag there consisted of "condoms, altoids, lube and clitoral stimulation gel." maybe we like kimora after all.

more popbitch bytes:
  • green day frontman, billie joe armstrong has taken a cue from austin powers and given his son the middle name "danger".
  • nicole kidman must have taken karl lagerfeld's recent bashing of her bust pretty hard. the word around the set of her movie with russell crowe, eucalyptus is that she's gone off for a boob job and has another one planned after that.
  • very bad buzz on the get shorty sequel, be cool. "it's as uncool and embarrassing as watching your dad at a disco."

    poor christina ricci, she went from child star to indie "it girl" to "ally mcbeal" regular to "joey" cameo. see her in the sure-to-fail sitcom next month.

    wanna see the model who may or may not be hooking up with brad pitt? check out april florio. she sounds like a fame-hungry slut. just like jennifer aniston. meanwhile, aniston will be gracing the pages of several tabloids this week hugging and kissing vince vaughn (via pink is the new blog). sounds money.

    kylie minogue has said that she plans on making this valentine's day, which she will spend in france with boyfriend, olivier martinez, "one to remember". the british press assumes this means they are getting married. also going on a speculated valentine's day wedding trip are demi moore and ashton kutcher. they are planning a getaway to venice.

    uma thurman looked as though kicking ass and taking names was the last thing on her mind while checking out the marc jacobs show with her beau, andre balasz. we're surprised, we thought jay-z and beyonce's late arrival would have had her back to her kill bill ways.