Thursday, February 24, 2005

"ben, you shrunk!" jennifer garner looks in wonder at her tiny boyfriend. she knew the bad press he'd gotten lately made him feel small, but she had no idea he meant it literally.

brad pitt and jennifer aniston continue to toy with the emotions of the american people. they spent valentine's day together enjoying chinese food from mr. chow.

aniston's onscreen love, david schwimmer has landed a starring role in a london play in which he will portray a womanizer. like david schwimmer has any game.

don't go trying to gyp gwyneth paltrow. she recorded a satellite message for her designer pal, matthew williamson to play at his london runway show, but was disappointed when she discovered she would not be receiving a goodie bag for her efforts, demanding that one be sent to her. sounds like she's fighting her buddy madonna for the title of material girl.

if pink's hair is black now, then shouldn't she change her name? hey girl, where you been? oh that's right, you were getting knocked up.

tv news: jerry o'connell's less famous brother may be the next bachelor. can you say d-list? james van der beek may return to television. can't say we missed him.

britney spears, paris hilton and pamela anderson have been banned from attending the oscars in an attempt to avoid the event becoming "downmarket scrum". we can't blame the academy, we didn't invite them to our oscar party either.

lindsay lohan has all the hottest gossip. she spilled the beans to paris via email that jessica simpson is a cokehead. then they made fun of ashlee together (via oh no they didn't). those sort of mean-spirited antics might be the reason she and her mother, dina, got death threats from her dad.

could the hilton family fortune have taken a hit from the sidekick incident? we can't think of any other reason why nicky would be compelled to dig for gold. maybe she needs it to bribe fergie from the black eyed peas. we hear she wants to kill paris.

what's the hottest trend in hollywood right now? bacon whores, hooters-type women who come to your home and cook you bacon. justin timberlake and brad pitt are fans. duh (via golden fiddle).

jack osbourne has lost his bling. someone robbed watches from his suitcase that were worth $382,000. our watch is worth $32. jc penney, jack - look into it.

nick carter is puzzled. why wasn't his phone number in paris hilton's address book? his sidekick should be buzzing off the hook right now. if only he had prank callers to keep him company. . .

ben stiller and his stick figure wife, melody from "hey dude!" are expecting baby number two. what will they call the baby if it's a girl? marcia, marcia, marcia.

hugh grant and jemima kahn are nesting. they're looking into purchasing a $50 million estate on the island off the cote d'azur where the man in the iron mask was imprisoned. for that much money, the place better come with a miniature leo.

kate bosworth engages in competitive tug-o-war to keep slim. she also engages in the kate moss boho look to keep hip.