Monday, February 28, 2005

no one better get angry over this one. last week we gave you all the opportunity to send us your own pictures for britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. no one did. thus, we had to come up with our own image for you to ponder over this week. don't blame us if it's too easy, but go ahead and send us a picture for next week if you want. britpoppa at gmail.com. you can black out the features yourself or send us a pre-blacked out face. for this one, leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday evening to find out who's behind that black box.
britney spears is longing for the innocence and wonder of her wedding day. she's gone brunette again and was seen with husband kevin federline attending a showing of the wedding date in her hometown of kentwood. looks to us like she's rocking nice and easy.

just in case you live under a rock (clearly not chris), last night was the oscars. for a list of the winners (million dollar baby), click here. for some oscar gowns, click here and here (hart will feature britpoppa's best and worst tomorrow). also, defamer blogged the show. it's probably funny, but we don't feel like reading it. one nominee who almost missed the event was leonardo dicaprio. he nearly died when he choked on a carrot last week. and don't forget the independent spirit awards. the winners of those, held saturday, are here.

hilary swank almost didn't win her second oscar for best actress. not because she and annette benning were in a tight race. no, she's lucky that neither sandra bullock nor ashley judd were the star of million dollar baby. maybe she should be cursing the actresses instead of thanking them - reports are swirling that her success is getting to husband, chad lowe. we don't buy that for a second, though. theirs is one of the only hollywood marriages that seems genuinely in good shape.

stella mccartney may have to miss out on her line's paris runway show this week. she just gave birth to her first child, a son. let's hope she doesn't ape pal, gwyneth paltrow and name him orange.

the video fred durst's limp bizkit was stolen from his computer by a repair man. a note to celebrities: clean out your "p" file and save that stuff to disk (via oh no they didn't).

wow, christina aguilera looks normal again. not goth slut or marilyn monroe wannabes here. just a lovely bride-to-be. maybe her wedding will actually be a classy affair.

elisa's dish:
  • mary-kate olsen must have watched "project runway". when she ran into the show's big winner, jay mccarroll at bungalow 8, she asked him to design for her. we hope he can do the hobo look.
  • cynthia nixon and her lover, christine marinoni must not read victory lap or the new york times; they've moved to park slope, brooklyn.
  • chris rock took his breaks in between jokes while hosting last night's oscars to play playstation. rock, 8-bit nintendo is where it's at.

    look's like tom cruise has already started brainwashing his new girlfriend. sofia vergara has been visiting the scientology centre. guess that means she's being hounded by body thetans as well as the paparazzi.

    close call; david beckham was nearly egged after he blew a game with his footie team, real madrid. maybe it's the crazy fans that have made victoria beckham decide to move back to the uk.

    sarah jessica parker's son, james, does a little dance for her. maybe he'll want to follow in his mother's footsteps and be a child star. "square pegs" could really use a comeback.

    aaron carter likes to get high without a shirt on. we have the pictures to prove it.

    if you wrote a script and could have any actor in the world play your lead, who would you choose? a screenwriter from alton, mo. dreamed of josh hartnett. when he couldn't contact him, he placed an ad in hartnett's local paper. guess tom cruise's paper had reached it's ad quota for the week.

    the search for the next james bond is still going, with a seemingly different frontrunner for every news source. some say julian mcmahon from nip/tuck. others claim it's between clive owen and some random dude.

    jennifer lopez is pregnant. though she "has yet to tell friends of her happy news", somehow the tabloids know. something smells fishy here, and it's not marc anthony's breath. though, perhaps her pregnancy can explain why the diva, normally dressed to the nines, has been going out in ratty sweatshirts like this one. yuck.

    too good to be true: shannon elizabeth participates in naked treasure hunts in los angeles. i think many a man would say that shannon elizabeth naked is treasure enough for them.

    "the bachelorette" 3-hour finale airs tonight on abc. jen schefft has definitely been coy about the results, not indicating that she has fell in love. word is, she dumped jerry shortly after agreeing to marry him.

    it seems like jessica's not the only one in her household who's been dabbling in drugs. page sixsixsix got a tip that nick lachey is addicted to steroids and alcohol (via pink is the new blog).

    scarlett johansson hasn't gotten the memo about uggs being out of style. she rocked this pair at disneyland last weekend. wonder what she's looking up at. maybe she's expecting dumbo to fly overhead.
  • Friday, February 25, 2005

    into self-punishment? want to make yourself throw up? want to see fred durst's limp bizkit? if so, click here (warning: you may be plagued with adware). if not, you've officially passed britpoppa's sanity test.
    mary-kate olsen was photographed outside a clinic in los angeles the other day. we suspect that she was not there for her eating disorder, but, in fact, for her bowleggedness.

    jenna elfman and scientologists are completely fucking crazy. no wonder she signed on for "dharma and greg".

    could another golden couple be on the verge of a breakdown? the mirror reports that gwyneth paltrow and chris martin have been arguing in public, with one row ending with gwyneth storming out of nobu after waiting for a table. gwyneth paltrow had to wait for a table? nobu, get your shit together.

    natalie portman caused quite a stir in jerusalem the other day. she was filming a kissing scene by the sacred western wall, an action that is strictly taboo, provoking witnesses to shout and boo at her. this likely isn't the first time portman's been booed - remember "where the heart is"?

    hilary duff's gone hipster. see more pictures of her with the cool kids at misshapes here and read an account of the sighting here.

    is demi moore going to play summer's mom on "the oc" or are she and ashton just punking us? get the scoop here (via defamer).

    jennifer lopez has finally fessed up to being mrs. marc anthony. hey, if we were married to a man with that frog-faced mug, we'd wait seven months to admit it too.

    john travolta is being considered for a role as an overweight drag queen in the hairspray movie musical. yup, sounds about right.

    finally, the truth about jennifer love hewitt emerges: she's a geek. and not the nerdy kind, the chicken head biting kind.

    whitney houston has been barfing up a storm (and she probably has the runs, too). the singer came down with a case of gastroenteritis on a flight to paris and had to be hospitalized. we heard she initially started spewing when she learned that the inflight entertainment included the video for her duet with husband, bobby brown, "something in common".

    after catching wind of whitney's unfortunate barf bag incident, we thought seeing a celebrity puking would make our life complete. not so, this picture just left us cold.

    mtv had two julie browns. one was totally awesome and the other was a pretentious mega-bitch. guess which one is suing abc for giving her scars (physical, not emotional)?

    madonna doesn't ditch her signature earflap cap, but manages to look truly botticelli-esque the other day outside the mercer hotel in new york. we wonder, though, if she has an amazing apt there, why does she stay at the mercer?

    Thursday, February 24, 2005

    have you ever heard of the association? and if you have heard of them, have you ever seen them? even if the answers to the first two question are "no", we bet you have heard them. they're responsible for the "terrible-rific" song, "windy" that sort of terrorized us when it was combined with "sweatin' to the oldies". richard simmons, ughhhh. anyway, we've recently been reintroduced to them, and haven't been able to get "cherish" out of our heads since then. we defy you to listen to the track and not meet the same consequences.

    the association - windy
    the association - cherish
    "ben, you shrunk!" jennifer garner looks in wonder at her tiny boyfriend. she knew the bad press he'd gotten lately made him feel small, but she had no idea he meant it literally.

    brad pitt and jennifer aniston continue to toy with the emotions of the american people. they spent valentine's day together enjoying chinese food from mr. chow.

    aniston's onscreen love, david schwimmer has landed a starring role in a london play in which he will portray a womanizer. like david schwimmer has any game.

    don't go trying to gyp gwyneth paltrow. she recorded a satellite message for her designer pal, matthew williamson to play at his london runway show, but was disappointed when she discovered she would not be receiving a goodie bag for her efforts, demanding that one be sent to her. sounds like she's fighting her buddy madonna for the title of material girl.

    if pink's hair is black now, then shouldn't she change her name? hey girl, where you been? oh that's right, you were getting knocked up.

    tv news: jerry o'connell's less famous brother may be the next bachelor. can you say d-list? james van der beek may return to television. can't say we missed him.

    britney spears, paris hilton and pamela anderson have been banned from attending the oscars in an attempt to avoid the event becoming "downmarket scrum". we can't blame the academy, we didn't invite them to our oscar party either.

    lindsay lohan has all the hottest gossip. she spilled the beans to paris via email that jessica simpson is a cokehead. then they made fun of ashlee together (via oh no they didn't). those sort of mean-spirited antics might be the reason she and her mother, dina, got death threats from her dad.

    could the hilton family fortune have taken a hit from the sidekick incident? we can't think of any other reason why nicky would be compelled to dig for gold. maybe she needs it to bribe fergie from the black eyed peas. we hear she wants to kill paris.

    what's the hottest trend in hollywood right now? bacon whores, hooters-type women who come to your home and cook you bacon. justin timberlake and brad pitt are fans. duh (via golden fiddle).

    jack osbourne has lost his bling. someone robbed watches from his suitcase that were worth $382,000. our watch is worth $32. jc penney, jack - look into it.

    nick carter is puzzled. why wasn't his phone number in paris hilton's address book? his sidekick should be buzzing off the hook right now. if only he had prank callers to keep him company. . .

    ben stiller and his stick figure wife, melody from "hey dude!" are expecting baby number two. what will they call the baby if it's a girl? marcia, marcia, marcia.

    hugh grant and jemima kahn are nesting. they're looking into purchasing a $50 million estate on the island off the cote d'azur where the man in the iron mask was imprisoned. for that much money, the place better come with a miniature leo.

    kate bosworth engages in competitive tug-o-war to keep slim. she also engages in the kate moss boho look to keep hip.

    Wednesday, February 23, 2005

    congratulations jay! we always knew you were "in".
    you guys are too good. you must read every tabloid in the check out line. sometimes we feel like we just can't compete. only a couple of you misstepped on britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game, identifying reese witherspoon as an olsen twin and rosario dawson and jason lewis as ian klaus and chelsea clinton. so we propose this: does anyone want to supply next week's pic? if you do, you can send it to us at britpoppa at gmail.com. we can black out the features or you can send one already blacked out, so that even we have to guess. this will be fun!
    it looks like ewan mcgregor uses a hands-on approach when it comes to teaching his kids about the birds and the bees. he should be careful or he might have a michael jackson situation to deal with.

    don't let paris hilton's sidekick hacker give you any ideas - he's in big trouble. and don't go clicking this link, either. the feds might track you down. but do click here to find out what paris had to say about her virtual theft.

    save the penguins! puff daddy recently hosted a party in miami for the opening of a swank new hotel, including penguins as pool decorations. the penguins were terrified of falling into the pool's warm water, prompting peta to send p. did a big "hiss!"

    tom cruise is crazy. he's supposedly dating a fiery latin beauty, but he still has time to put together a scientology tent for the crew of war of the worlds. someone should be spending a little more of his off time in the sack.

    hunter s. thompson likely planned his recent suicide, says a friend. he wanted his death to be a celebration. the festivities will begin with his ashes being blasted across his property in a cannon. so punk rock. read britpoppa idol, kurt loder's reflections on the icon here.

    beyonce chews on a candy cigarette while deplaning last week. okay, so maybe it's not a candy cigarette, but we're really trying to bring them back, so let's just pretend for a minute.

    the gotti boys weren't always the sleek, gel-covered "heartthrobs" they are now. frank was once a fatty.

    high school shout-out: britpoppa's former classmate, nina stotler was quoted in page six today! apparently she didn't enjoy her mermaid duties at nyc bar, coral room. from montgomery village, md to the big apple's biggest tabloid paper! congrats!

    pop-punk heroes, blink 182, have announced that they are taking an "indefinite hiatus" with the group. we suspect that "all the small things" built up to cause the break up.

    tori amos cements her status as a rock queen by going out dressed in royal purple the other day in nyc. all hail tori.

    jessica simpson suffered from the flu that seems to be hitting all the major celebrities lately (lindsay lohan, michael jackson, et. al). she was briefly hospitalized in chicago on monday while in town shooting a segment for "oprah".

    speaking of jessica, she and husband, nick lachey are continuing to take their pda sessions on tour, in an attempt to fight off rumors that their relationship is on the verge of a breakdown. the latest stop? chris rock's secret show at the laugh factory, where their kissing was distracting the audience as well as rock. what's next for the couple? a possible ironic duet on a moby track?

    don't expect prince charles and camilla's wedding to be a replay of his elaborate nuptials to princess diana. the event will be very low key and even the queen has turned down an invitation.

    jake gyllenhaal is a little bit self conscious about his bald head. don't worry, it's for a movie role, his locks will be back soon.

    robbie williams is never one to pass up a trend. he's collaborating with the scissor sisters for a track on his next album. at least this one should be good.

    more austin scarlett news: if you're still lamenting the fact that the fashion designing pixie will not be on tonight's "project runway" finale, get your fix of him by reading tv guide's interview.

    couldn't get into harvard? no problem, britpoppa has found the school for you. jay-z will be opening the s carter academy in new york this spring. the school will instruct on music, sports and fashion. maybe pharrell williams will be a professor.

    we hate to admit it, but david beckham is pretty gorgeous, especially with the permanent smile he's been wearing since the birth of his third son, cruz. he must smell good too, because he and his wife, victoria are going to release their own fragrances.

    Tuesday, February 22, 2005

    2001: a gossip odyssey did anyone care about paris hilton in 2001? we think not. that's why we're heading back to that hallowed year to bring you the best gossip that money can buy - all at no cost to you!

    four years ago we overheard a real know-it-all saying that:
  • liam neeson credited martin scorsese for his recovery from a motorbike accident. his incentive to get better was starring in gangs of new york. unfortunately, neeson's determination wasn't rewarded with an oscar nod. he was snubbed again this year, despite his noteworthy performance in kinsey.
  • jennifer lopez had fired her bodyguard for getting caught smuggling marijuana into canada. she went on to fire second husband, chris judd - possibly for smuggling shakira videos into their home.
  • guy ritchie regular, vinnie jones had managed to piss off john travolta on the set of swordfish by flying the british flag from his trailer. perhaps travolta put a scientology hex on jones - he hasn't made many big films since then.
  • russell crowe and his proof of life director, taylor hackford were not too friendly during filming. crowe even called hackford a "fucking idiot" and a "knob". russ is as volatile as ever. problems with the director of his film with nicole kidman, eucalyptus, has delayed the movie indefinitely.

    on february 22, 2001:
  • tamara mello was half way to 50.
  • drew barrymore turned 26. holy shit, she's thirty today!
  • jeri ryan turned 33.
  • rachel dratch turned 35.
  • steve irwin turned 39.
  • kyle maclachlan turned 42.
  • julie walters turned 51.
  • jonathan demme turned 57.
  • billy name turned 61.
  • ted kennedy turned 69.
  • tori amos and mark hawley celebrated their third anniversary.
  • jessica simpson shows her love for her sister by wearing an '80s-fied ashlee simpson shirt. we swear to god we have practically the same one from when we saw debbie gibson in the third grade.

    wonder woman? more like wonder matron. jessica biel is dueling with kim basinger over the comic book heroine part in a joss whedon-penned film. isn't kim like 50 years old? barf.

    nicole richie has vowed to never get liposuction after witnessing the procedure while filming "the simple life". we would hope she wouldn't get lipo. the only fat on her 97-pound body is in her boobs. and what's a blonde without boobs?

    rem just can't escape the tour woes. mike mills, the only member of the band who had yet to have his health affect a tour, was hospitalized last night for a severe case of the flu, forcing the band to cancel a sheffield, uk, gig. has he been hanging around michael jackson?

    sisqo and samantha mumba are expecting their first child together in july. what got sisqo turned on enough to sow his seed? must have been that thong-tha-thong-thong-thong.

    ashton kutcher and demi moore snuggle up after their plane lands in los angeles. they had gone on a mexican getaway for valentine's day that, unfortunately, did not result in marriage. ashton, make an honest woman out of this lady, quick!

    turns out the event for which cameron diaz and justin timberlake went to las vegas was an engagement party. the couple celebrated their relationship with their friends at the hard rock hotel. can't anyone just bite the bullet and get married already?

    britpoppa's favorite closet case, nyc scenester, fabian basabe, is having to fight allegations that he punched a marquee clubgoer in the face. we doubt he did it, but it's not unlike a queen to start a cat fight. meow!

    more news from paris hilton's hacked sidekick: could she be tipping off the tabloids? a note that she left herself seems to indicate that she may have told an us weekly editor that jessica simpson was eyeing justin timberlake. hmmm...

    ashlee simpson dresses as the ringleader for the circus that is sure to be her live act. check out more pics of her heinous stage wear here.

    pam anderson normally makes us want to reach for a barfbag, but she's pretty cool when it comes to animal activism. last week, while in vegas, the former "v.i.p." star refused to get into an elevator with a woman wearing fur. nice move, blondie.

    who knew sean connery liked to bump his tunes like a baller? he's being sued by a neighbor who claims that he has made it impossible to get any rest. the neighbor said, "plays loud music at all hours". pretty impressive for a 74-year-old.

    like father, like daughter. lizzie jagger's a slut.

    jude law and sienna miller are just like us! except we can't afford to shop at barney's co-op. and our doors t-shirts aren't designer; they were handed down to us by our drunk uncle. jude's taken his fiancee's hard partying ways into his own hands. he's signed on for a movie set in london, in part to keep an eye on her.

    slash without a top hat is like lindsay lohan without a mondo pair of jumblies: unrecognizable. the iconic former guns 'n roses member lost his signature headwear in a limo at the grammys. when asked to comment, slash said, "that hat was like a sweet child o' mine!"

    fun distractions for the bored:
  • take an impossible oscar quiz
  • learn austin scarlett's life story and peruse his interview with the advocate (via page sixsixsix)
  • read about season four of "america's next top model"

    tom cruise doesn't seem to like american girls (though we doubt he likes any girls). his latest love interest (at least for the sake of the press) is latin starlet, sofia vergara. her nickname is "sofia viagra". that's a good thing since viagra's probably the only way cruise could get it up for a woman.

    gwyneth paltrow braves the cold in her north face bubble jacket. be careful, gywnnie, those things are really hot right now.
  • Monday, February 21, 2005

    we've been so excited about finding paris hilton's real myspace, learning that she may have a drug problem and reading about jennifer aniston's lesbian affairs with a whalberg that we completely forgot to tell you that little michelle branch is pregnant with her 40-year-old husband's spawn. that's right, the 21-year-old and her bassist hubby will be having a baby in five months. she announced the somewhat disturbing news on the messageboard for her side project, the wreckers. the couple have only been married nine months.
    apparently the guessing game we posted earlier was for babies. too easy, you cried. well here's another one for you to sniff out. this time no hints. and it doesn't count unless you can name both people. leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday for the reveal. p.s. you can still work on the baby game if you're not good enough to play with the big boys.
    can you name whose nose and eyes have been blocked for britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game? much to our dismay, this lovely lady has been keeping herself out of the spotlight lately. she risks some much needed exposure to get a mani/pedi. way to pamper yourself, girl! leave your guesses in the comments section and come back wednesday to find out who's behind those pink nails.
    paris hilton was happier before her sidekick was hacked and all her friends (like amy sacco and victoria gotti) had to change their phone numbers. here she is just days before the information was released, celebrating her 24th birthday with beau, paris lastis. and here are some pics of the hilton clan enjoying disney world.

    brooklyn, romeo, cruz. the beckhams welcomed their third son into the world on sunday via a scheduled c-section. only posh and becks could be so busy that they had to schedule their child's birth.

    dolce and gabbana has pulled a proenza schouler. domenico dolce and stefano gabbana have ended their nearly two decade long relationship, but will remain business partners.

    don't waste your time watching the finale of "the bachelorette" next week. star claims that jen schefft has already broken up with the man she chose and is seeing her boss.

    poor wes anderson. his girlfriend of two years, tara subkoff (of imitation of christ and american pie), has dumped him for liev schreiber. wes, we say good riddens. and liev, we say dump her quick!

    madonna will be playing a transvestite in an upcoming movie. she has nabbed the role of warhol favorite, candy darling and will play him for free. so many drag queens have portrayed the material girl over the years that we're guessing she felt she owed it to them.

    we wonder if lindsay lohan preemptively changed her phone number before paris's address book got published. we were a little late to the party and didn't get a chance to try phoning her. besides, enduring phonecalls from the likes of britpoppa is the last thing little lindsay needs. her dad got arrested AGAIN for dwi this weekend and is trying to con the family into doing a reality show. busty lohan is also getting a breast reduction - digitally - for her film, herbie: fully loaded. according to screening reactions, her Ts were too big for a family film.

    even katie couric isn't above playing games to get what she wants in relationships. she used her newly ex-boyfriend, trumpet player chris botti, to win her old ex-boyfriend, tom werner, back.

    hunter s. thompson was found dead in his home on sunday after apparently shooting himself. it's unknown whether he was hopped up on goofballs at the time.

    this will be a wedding to remember. marilyn manson and his fiancee, dita von teese, plan on getting married in april. we're doubting the bride will wear white.

    renee zellweger must have a thing for musicians. just a few months after her break up with jack white was made official, she's been out on the town with mercury prize winner, damien rice. wonder how white's handling this "cannonball".

    justin timberlake adjusts his "putter" while enjoying a lovely day on the golf course. nice argyle, dorkus.

    britpoppa loves koko and we're guessing koko would love us. it seems she has a thing for the ladies. two women who worked with the sign language fluent gorilla said that they were threatened with being fired if they didn't show her their nipples.

    steven tyler and his wife of 17 years, teresa, have separated. when asked to comment, teresa said, "it finally hit me. dude looks like a lady."

    elizabeth hurley played the devil in bedazzled and now she'll play a witch in harry potter and the order of the phoenix. she's being tapped for the role of bellatrix lestrange, one of voldemort's followers.

    jordan bratman didn't make his proposal easy on fiancee, christina aguilera. she had to find the ring by participating in a scavenger hunt. celebrities have too much time on their hands.

    kelly osbourne may soon be employing the stomach stapling that her mother used to get rid of all that unsightly flab. to see some unsightly crack (not recommended), click here.

    in case you're not down with the dead presidents, apparently abraham lincoln is really hot right now. wasn't he always hot? as the boy knows, we love a man with a full beard.

    news flash: aaron carter is a dick.

    jessica simpson is not letting husband, nick lachey, get off easy. she got revenge on him for hitting on some women at a superbowl party by flirting with john mayer at the grammys. she's just dying to hear him tell her that her body is a wonderland.

    we guess it's not that hard to get over portia derossi. the woman that she left for ellen degeneres, francesca gregorini, has moved on to the director of boys don't cry, kimberly peirce. seems like girls don't cry either.

    britney spears goes out for a few errands in kentwood. she remembered to bring her strawberry shortcake glass from home, but forgot her bra. avert your eyes!

    Friday, February 18, 2005

    we're sorry to say that britpoppa will be m.i.a. for the next couple of days. we're going on a mini holiday . . . to pittsburgh.

    Thursday, February 17, 2005

    mischa barton went out on the town with her mary-kate beaded necklace and her newly slim boyfriend, brandon davis, on valentine's day. we didn't know brandon was an acdc fan.

    april florio is changing her story again. instead of insisting that brad pitt tried to kiss her, she's now insisting that their meeting was so casual, he probably doesn't even remember her. it's true, she doesn't seem very memorable. if you insist on knowing more about her, learn the shape of her curves in this bikini shot.

    george michael has announced he is quitting his job as a pop star and will begin working behind the scenes in the music industry. this comes as bad news to the scores of models he helped make even bigger names for themselves in his groundbreaking videos. don't worry, gals - another closeted cokehead will come along soon enough.

    thank you, usa. thank you, ims. thank you for my citizenship! welcome to one of our country's newest citizens: alanis morisette. she's got one hand in her pocket and the other one's holding her new pasport.

    wilmer valderrama seems to have his hopes set on popping every cherry in hollywood. his newest conquest is ashlee simpson. ash has been visiting wilmer on the set of his new movie for burgers, fries and whoopee.

    elizabeth hurley looks damn good for 39. of course it's not that hard to look good in a bikini when you're a slight 105 lbs. hurley is launching her own line of upscale swimwear that will be sold at saks and on her website in april. check out more pictures from her photoshoot here.

    britney spears is super pissed that her "private" honeymoon pictures have been published in numerous places. in a statement that she issued, britney said that the pictures were supposedly taken by resort workers who promised to keep the shots to themselves. just goes to show you, you can't trust anyone making minimum wage.

    on the subject of the trailer trash couple, it seems as though the cheetos just aren't cutting it anymore. britney and kevin will soon start taking cooking lessons from a chef. knowing them, it's probably chef boyardee.

    big surprise, one of the people who worked with paris and nicole on "the simple life" thinks they're "bitches from hell". we think that and we've never even met them. of course, britpoppa loves bitches.

    either johnny depp thinks it's 1987 or he's trying to bring back mirrored sunglasses. they should make him quite popular in la. everyone's always looking in the mirror there.

    it turns out george lucas is the biggest star wars nerd of them all. he's given himself a small role as baron papanoida in revenge of the sith. look for him in the opera house scene, unless his part is cut out.

    jessica biel may have gotten nearly nude in that gear photoshoot years ago, but don't expect her to go all the way. she's currently searching for a body double for a film she is working on. her main requirement? natural breasts.

    gavin rossdale is the kind of guy every girl dreams of: tall, dark and handsome. he even knows how to get to a gal's heart - through potatoes? he once sent wife, gwen stefani, two sacks of the spuds for valentine's day. romantic.

    snoop d o double g sported a hot red fur coat in london recently. we're not fans of fur, but denying a pimp his mink is like denying britney spears her red bull - impossible.

    Wednesday, February 16, 2005

    sophia bush, would you put a real shirt on? if you don't start covering up your bras, your fiance, chad michael murray, might leave you for lindsay lohan - she knows how to use double-stick tape.

    some of you managed to nail the semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. the rest of you wrongly accused some actresses of a fashion faux pas. your victims: courteney cox, jorja fox and the baby of laura linney and holly hunter (as far as we know, no such baby exists - we bet the enquirer would like to get their hands on that story).
    2001: a gossip odyssey i'm not feeling clever today. on to 2001's gossip.

    four years ago today, people were chattering about:
  • erin brockovich. she was excited to be going to the oscars where she would see julia roberts, who portrayed her on screen, win the award for best actress. remember when people cared about erin brockovich? that was lame.
  • speaking of julia, she caused some talk when she used the men's room at la eatery, the ivy, because the line for the ladies' room was too long. she may actually get away with using the men's room now that she has a son's diapers to change.
  • farrah fawcett. she tried the infamous, "don't you know who i am?" line on a cop who was writing her a parking ticket. she ran out of the store where she was trying on shoes at the time. the line didn't work. she ended up paying for the ticket and the shoes. now her on-again/off-again boyfriend, ryan o'neal, is the one doing the running - after her - on the reality show "chasing farrah".
  • tom cruise and nicole kidman. it was rumored that they both had hired private investigators to dig up dirt on each other for their divorce case. nicole recently found a listening device planted outside her australian home. wonder if tommy's responsible for that one?
  • george clooney. he decided to keep dating model, lisa snowdon, because she got approval from his pet pig, max. though he and snowdon broke up later, george must still value max's input. they're back together now.

    on february 16, 2001:
  • ice t turned 43.
  • levar burton turned 44.
  • sonny bono would have been 66.
  • christina aguilera stepped out on valentine's day wearing the huge rock her fiance, jordan bratman gave her. if we had a genie in a bottle, we'd ask for something a little more low key.

    nic cage may not have been able to score himself a presley spawn, but he's proven his little guys can swim. he's knocked up his child bride, alice, the former sushi waitress. kudos.

    get ready for the wiez. pauly shore is back. tbs has signed on to air at least 10 episodes of an upcoming reality show in which shore tries to revamp his mother's famous stand-up venue, the comedy store. the first pitch was to have shore and stephen baldwin in a biosphere, but that had already been done.

    jennifer lopez pulled a lindsay lohan. she's called in sick and will be skipping the london premiere of shall we dance. her illness has also caused her to cancel her european tour. could it be morning sickness?

    liv tyler proved yesterday that the only thing cuter than a baby is a baby in a snuggly. milo sure is adorable. and his mom's not half bad either.

    p. diddy's facing some legal woes again. but at least this time there's no gun involved. he's been sued by random house over a $300k advance that they gave him for a memoir that he never completed. we imagine diddy stopped writing when he got to the j. lo chapter. he's still heartbroken over the loss of that ass.

    jessica simpson may be heading to puffy for legal advice as she may soon be sued too. she had signed on for a fitness video, but the company involved, speedfit, did not want her to include her trainer, michael alexander, in the video. bad choice, speedfit. if alexander got jessica looking this good, we'd certainly be interested in what he had to say. jessica will duet with country music legend, willie nelson on the soundtrack for her film, dukes of hazzard. willie plays uncle jesse in the movie.

    get out your barfbag. rod stewart learned that he had won his first grammy while having sex. there you go, cough it all up now.

    madonna went out in her usual homeless chic style the other day in london. the pop princess plans on changing her sound again with her next album. she has been inspired by the darkness and franz ferdinand and will play guitar throughout much of the record.

    we think we might know the reason that destiny's child singer, kelly rowland has "postponed" her wedding to dallas cowboy, roy williams. when he proposed to her, he asked if she would be his husband. could it have been a freudian slip?

    did brad pitt stick it to april florio or not? he says no, but she says he tried. brad claims he never even met the model/actress, but photos in this week's us weekly show that they were together in greece. florio accuses pitt of trying to kiss her and says that he spoke of angelina jolie "like she was a goddess". this is proof that the hottest guys have no game. if you're trying to score, you don't go talking about another woman, brad.

    meanwhile, vince vaughn has gone public to defend the honor of his pal, jennifer aniston. he claims that the pictures of them that us weekly published last week were merely depicting an innocent business meeting. "people wanna try to sell magazines," vaughn said. "you can't take it personal that's just their job."

    ben affleck and jennifer garner are just like us. they eat at baja fresh, they buy their undergarments at old navy and they cover their faces while they're out in public.

    though he's usually the slighted sidekick in the movies, jeremy piven has landed the babe in real life. he's dating vanessa marcil, formerly of "beverly hills, 90210" and now of "las vegas". the two were inseparable at a heineken party the other night.

    wait, we thought paris dumped paris. the ny daily news is reporting that paris hilton is possibly engaged to greek shipping heir, paris lastis. he supposedly proposed using the age-old ring in the chocolate souffle technique. she just couldn't let nicole have the spotlight for once, could she?

    better download those stills while they're still online. maggie gyllenhaal has vowed never to do a nude scene again after her latest trials filming shall not want. come on, maggie. nudity is what got you noticed in the first place. where would you be without secretary?

    elisha cuthbert bundles up while doing a beach photo shoot. her double bathrobes give her a sort of virgin mary next door look.