Thursday, January 13, 2005

sienna miller ruminates over whether marriage will make her less of a prat. silly girl, nothing could make you any less of a prat. sienna's husband-to-be, jude law, may be catching up with her in pratitude. he's been taking pole dancing lessons.

england's defamer, popbitch, reports that jennifer garner has not been the calming influence on ben affleck that people predicted. while filming his new movie in vancouver, he "is back to his hard-partying ways, keeps falling asleep between takes and has to be fed his lines one sentence at a time to aid his memory."

paul mccartney has upped the ante on tsunami donations. he has given $1.8 million in aid to international rescue committee uk.

when her husband's a dud, a girl can always count on her hairdresser - at least jennifer aniston can. she's been staying at the home of chris mcmillan, the man who brought us the rachel haircut. yeah, thanks chris. thanks for making everyone look like "caroline in the city" for three years.

bad news for young republicans: kid rock will not play the inauguration. more bad news for young republicans: hilary duff and jojo will.

before "desperate housewives" was a hit, abc execs were constantly on teri hatcher's case about her bra, through which her nipples showed. now that the show's taken off, they've left her alone. the moral: america loves nipples.

the "exodus" of bob marley's remains will begin shortly. his wife is having his body dug up and sent to ethiopia to be reburied.

kate winslet wears the prerequisite hollywood mom outfit - designer jeans and uggs - but forgets to oufit her daughter in a miniature pair.

more news on the "bachelorette" fabrice scandal: shirtless pics of the hunk were found on a gay-friendly chicago website.

borat, aka sasha baron cohen, needs to know the time and place for his garbled english. he attempted to sing a very crude version of the star spangled banner at a virginia rodeo and nearly started a riot.

sarah jessica parker has landed a coveted slot as a voice in shrek 3. with this and kristin davis's part in the shaggy dog remake, one can only wonder as to when kim cattrall will announce her starring role in the musical version of the apple dumpling gang.

russell simmons has assembled an all-star cast, and not for a hip-hop show. he is doing a yoga infomercial and has brought on friends like donald trump, serena williams, p. diddy and christy turlington, among others, to plug the spiritual exercise.

you flash a swastika one time... england's prince harry has gotten in a fuckload of trouble after dressing up as a nazi for a costume party. apparently people find this offensive.

nicole kidman is suffering from a terrible addiction. she would like to be a lesbian, but she's "hooked on the male physique". at least it's not heroin.

renee zellweger does her best bettie page impression in the february issue of w. see more pics here. the stick-thin actress has been crying, "down with love" after her break up with jack white of the white stripes. she's so devastated by the romance's termination that she wants to sell her la home and move to new england. her old place holds too many memories of her old love.

geri halliwell has made the slight transition from popstar to call girl. she has accepted a playboy's offer of $750k to be his escort to the opera ball in vienna.

snaps to oprah: the media mogul was peeved when she could not return a $400 cashmere scarf without a receipt in her hometown of chicago. always the good samaritan though, she gave the scarf to a homeless lady on her way to work.

imdb news:
  • nicolette sheridan is suffering from the flu after jumping into her pool naked to save her golden retriever. she was naked because that's how she does her housework.
  • farrah fawcett may wed ryan o'neal in a televised ceremony. i bet tatum is over the paper moon about this.
  • john goodman's doctor has warned him that he must lose 100 pounds or face serious health problems. get this guy on "the biggest loser", stat!
  • scarlett johansson's vacation plans were ruined when she got into a car accident with her sister. she ended up having to spend her own relaxation time sponge bathing her sibling. let's hope they videotaped it.

    could eva longoria be saying "bye bye bye" to her nsync boyfriend, jc chasez? she's been spotted hanging around san antonio spurs guard, tony parker.

    janet jackson's favorite jewels are of the family variety. she wears an $18k penis charm necklace that "gets excited" when you touch it.

    mark whalberg's been feeling a different sort of vibrations lately, spiritual vibrations. the former "rapper" has gotten religious, carrying rosaries and attending sunday mass.

    lindsay lohan goes super britney trailer park, complete with frapuccino and red nail polish. seriously, does anyone wear nail polish anymore?