in this week's edition of hart britpoppa vows to bring you even more half-assed gossip reporting. read on for further explanation.
britpoppa's just might be the one household in america that does not watch "desperate housewives". we gave the first episode a try, but we didn't give a damn what was buried under that swimming pool or who teri hatcher was going to lay next. we had enough of the hag back when she was lois lane. and that's just the problem. this show is full of has-beens (hatcher, nicolette sheridan) and never-wases (eva longoria, jesse metcalfe). the only thing it has going for it is marcia cross and that's not really saying much. the final straw was when they graced the cover of us weekly. if your name isn't jennifer, britney, lindsay or brad, you really don't belong there.
we're especially peeved by the fact that everyone seems to think that the topic is so ground-breaking. i mean, didn't any of these people read the feminine mystique? the idea of frustrated home-makers is far from new. it has surfaced in numerous forms in entertainment in recent years including, but certainly not limited to, serial mom, far from heaven and "roseanne". "desperate housewives" is no more refreshing than a bottle of flat sprite. it's simply "melrose place" for suburban 40-somethings.
because of our disgust with the latest television phenomenon, we've decided to pull a lloyd grove and declare that we will never report "desperate housewives" gossip again. eva longoria could be abducted by aliens and we wouldn't give her one sentence. teri hatcher could walk out of the house in a full-on lara flynn boyle tutu and we wouldn't post the pics. basically, unless one of them does something worthy of the yahoo news front page (or leaves the show), you won't hear about them here. this is britpoppa, signing off.