Monday, January 31, 2005

when the publicists confirm it, it's official. kate bosworth and orlando bloom have called it quits after nearly 3 years of dating. this comes as great news to lord of the rings fans all over the world. now if only orlando would don that long golden wig again.
2001: a gossip odyssey gossip was interesting back in 2001, too. let's revisit some of the highlights from four years ago.

as we reached the end of the first month of 2001, people were buzzing with the news that:
  • catherine zeta-jones would be left out of consideration for the role of maria callas in a biopic of the singer because she was too secure with her looks. must be that security that lead her to later smoke a cigarette topless and pregnant on her balcony in mexico.
  • ewan mcgregor was getting over an exhausting trip to central america he took for a bbc documentary. some things never change, mcgregor recently took an exhausting motorcycle trip around the world for another tv documentary.
  • steven spielberg had been knighted. the director was made an honorary knight of the british empire, but declined the title of sir, unlike anthony hopkins and ian mckellan.
  • famke janssen had dumped ben affleck for a "mystery man". good move on her part. we'd dump ben affleck for the trash man.
  • kevin smith was super pissed about being listed on premiere magazine's 12 stars that were losing their edge. the director went on to direct the indisputably edgy jersey girl.

    on january 31, 2001:
  • justin timberlake entered his second decade.
  • paul scheer was half way to the big 5-0.
  • portia derossi turned 28.
  • patricia velasquez turned 30.
  • minnie driver turned 31.
  • danny moder turned 32.
  • sade turned 35.
  • kelly lynch and anthony lapaglia turned 42.
  • philip glass turned 64.
  • britpoppa's semi-weekly celebrity guessing game brings you proof that hollywood's biggest sham religions do get along. here we see a scientologist and a kabbalist making friendly while spending a lovely los angeles day hitting the shops. do you know who they are? leave your guesses in the comments section and return wednesday evening for the reveal.
    we have to admit, we were going through a little bit of mary-kate and ashley withdrawal. lucky for us, they were going through a little bit of shopping withdrawal and got caught on film.

    minnie driver won't get out of bed for less than $6,000/day. she recently had her rep call a volkswagen spokesperson to see how much their gift bag was worth at sundance. when she heard it was valued at a "measly" $6,000, she did not attend the event.

    wanna see tara reid's wedding on "the ellen degeneres show"? yeah, me either, but the surgically augmented starlet has promised to be wed on the program if she finds a soulmate through it. she's asked viewers to send in tapes if they are interested in dating her.

    jennifer lopez is desperate to hear the pitter patter of little feet. she's so anxious to become pregnant with marc anthony's child that she's started praying to a statue in a homemade shrine.

    if you want the real gossip, ask a restauranteur. the owner of nyc hot spot lotus, jeffrey jah, spilled the dirt on several celebrities in a recent interview. according to jah, mark wahlberg has been kicked out twice, tobey maguire will not sit near joaquin phoenix and puff daddy, naomi campbell and paris hilton expect their meals comped.

    gwen stefani wears her religion on her sleeveless shirt as she jogs in la. it takes hard work to keep up with those harajuku girls.

    britney spears is continuing her makeover of her husband, kevin federline. she was recently present for his details photoshoot where she convinced the photographer to shoot kevin again for l'uomo vogue. we sure wish someone would shoot kevin.

    are you a fan of "project runway's" jay mcconnell? well, aren't we all? designer abbe diaz is one of the many and she's offered him a section at her nyc boutique, bagutta life.

    lara flynn boyle has taken after her character in wayne's world and gone completely psycho hose beast. while on a flight to london, she stripped down and tried to get in bed with another passenger.

    unlikely imdb news:
  • orlando bloom/kate bosworth update: this time orlando has broken it off. next week, expect speculation that they are engaged.
  • jennifer aniston is suspected to be dating vincent cassel, husband of monica bellucci. bellucci is not mentioned in story.

    "dude, check out those slopes!" tobey maguire uses his spidey sense while snowboarding in park city, ut.

    "will you marry flea?" the bassist of the red hot chili peppers proposed to his model girlfriend, frankie rayder, with a "fat diamond ring". rayder said, "yes".

    if britpoppa's favorite band, blur, is right, wife swapping is the future, but it sure didn't suit jude law and sadie frost. according to the british tabloid, news of the world, sadie started the swap when she did a sexy striptease for supergrass drummer, danny goffey and his girlfriend, pearl lowe. as the couples traded off, things got out of control when jude became obsessed with pearl, infuriating sadie. but the swinging isn't the only detail revealed by the tab. notd also states that sienna miller is 27, not 23 as is widely held.

    here's proof that the ivy leagues will do anything to matriculate a celebrity: haylie duff said at sundance that she's headed to harvard to study sociology.

    keira knightley could never be a stripper. she attended lap dancing classes for her role in domino, but was unable to get the moves down. she had to get a body double for the bottom half because, according to the actress, "i couldn't bend in the way you're meant to bend."

    eva mendes keeps a low profile as she strolls down the street. she'll need to stay on the dl if hitch makes her a huge star.
  • Friday, January 28, 2005

    britpoppa presents you with a lovely picture of jude law and his bitches (sienna miller definitely included).

    well this really does nothing to disprove the stereotype that lesbians move too fast in relationships. portia derossi has purchased her new lover, ellen degeneres, a platinum tiffany wedding band.

    jamie pressly, star of such b-movies as the karate dog and poison ivy: the new seduction, has plans to release a rock cd. we can't hardly wait!

    the gray powder brad pitt's been keeping in his glove compartment is not the ashes of his dead relationship with jennifer aniston. it's actually "dried bat" given to him by his (more than?) friend, angelina jolie.

    popbitch is claiming that jessica simpson may have her eyes on another man. apparently adam levine of maroon 5 has received a voicemail from a woman whispering that she's in love with him. the rumor is, it was none other than the newlywed herself. jess, before you do anything drastic, peep this picture of the man with his shirt off. eww! jess may be kinky enough to have an affair; she's been reading jenna jameson's book and admits she likes to watch pornos now and again.

    scarlett johansson proves that no matter how young, beautiful and glamorous you are, if you're shoveling in the grub, you're going to look like a pig.

    beyonce spares no expense on her hair. her newest wig is worth $50k, is 3 ft. long, made from all "european hair" (thank god, we hate antarctic hair) and took the (certainly well-paid [haha]) chinese craftsmen 10 days to create. one celeb who's definitely impressed with the diva is nicole richie. she's named her chihuahua beyonce.

    according to holy moly, chris martin has prohibited his wife, gwyneth paltrow from hanging out with kate moss. she's too much of a bad influence. also, on the guess ad campaign, paris hilton insisted on having her make-up put on while she lay down. it's really no surprise since, she's used to being on her back.

    here's proof that bostonians will do almost anything to stay warm. as of 10:54 am, est, it's 13 degrees there.

    captain jack sparrow will be making at least two more appearances on the silver screen. keira knightley recently revealed that she's just finished filming two sequels to pirates of the caribbean back to back.

    even halle berry looks her age (38) when she doesn't have her make up on. she's shown here with her (silver spring native) boyfriend, michael ealy.

    the man in the now-famous picture of first daughter jenna bush being dipped and nuzzled is her father's 26-year-old campaign aide, henry hager. they've been dating since august. just like me and the boy.

    it seems kate moss and pete doherty have replaced renee zellweger as the new on-again off-again couple du jour. though, the sun reported just two days ago that the model had dumped her druggie, they're now saying that pete has plans to marry kate. and their rival, the mirror, reports that kate can't help herself from loving pete, even though she knows he's bad news.

    poor rick salomon. he can't manage to get any freebies at sundance and has to settle for shannen dohery's left-overs. britpoppa wouldn't lay a finger on shannen's left-overs. there's no telling where they've been.

    the olsens have made another step towards independence. they've parted ways with their freaky-haired business partner, robert thorne.

    jake gyllenhaal has shed his locks for an upcoming role as a marine. we'd let him patrol our grounds any time.

    Thursday, January 27, 2005

    from the looks of this picture, it seems like lohan freestyle made a severe oversight in leaving out x-tina.

    regis may not have to fill in for dick clark next new year's eve. he's finally been released from the hospital after his december stroke.

    martha stewart and george w. bush have something in common, a love of brooks and dunn. martha's been learning the steps to the "boot scoot boogie" dance while serving time in west virginia. she's also been "working on her next book, exercising, teaching yoga, reading mail, crocheting and watching tv." britpoppa could use some jail time, if that's how it is.

    while drew barrymore, cameron diaz and christina aguilera may be trying to plan their weddings in secret, kelly rowland of destiny's child may be trying to call her wedding to cowboys star, roy williams, off in secret. guests have been notified that the planned date has been cancelled, but her rep claims it will be rescheduled.

    everything is going swimmingly for kelly's destiny's child colleague, beyonce knowles's new clothing and jewelry line. the house of dereon will begin releasing products in the fall.

    look out london, mimi's coming! mariah carey is looking to buy a home in the city when she stars in a musical there later this year. also house hunting is tiger woods. he just bought a spacious apartment in a chic neighborhood in his wife, elin nordegren's hometown of stockholm, sweden.

    ben affleck and jennifer garner are grocery shopping. they must be getting married!

    nicole kidman luckily escaped the fate of princess diana after being chased down by paparazzi last sunday. she successfully gained a restraining order against the photographers who engineered the chase as well as placed a listening device in her home. you go, girl.

    pamela anderson is at it again. just days after taking a pr woman's coat at the diesel lounge at sundance, she tried to walk off with a one of a kind pair of swarovski prototype ski goggles from the fred segal salon.

    ny daily news gossip:
  • it takes more than connections to get an internship with esteemed photographer annie leibovitz. even uncle jesse couldn't get one for mary-kate olsen.
  • tinkerbell will have to share paris hilton's affections with a new friend. she recently rescued a rottweiler from an animal shelter.
  • looks like the bachelor party is still going for kevin federline. he recently took in a lap dance in las vegas with his boys.
  • gwen stefani's harajuku girls are taking their image too far. while they all speak english, their contract forbids them to speak in anything but japanese.

    what good is the darkness without catsuits? the british rock group's lead singer, justin hawkins, has been banned from wearing his signature outfits and from doing any pelvic thrusts while playing in dubai.

    nicole, next time hold out for true religion or blue cult. ms. richie may be trying to extend her reputation as a fan of "the simple life". she's taken after rachel bilson and signed on to model low-end bongo jeans.

    want to tickle dustin hoffman's funny bone? make a fart joke. he tortured his meet the fockers co-stars with a juvenile fart machine that he got from a prop guy.

    cameron diaz sports her new cast while out with fiance(?), justin timberlake. the plaster arm band is a result of a mystery injury and has cammie struggling to feed herself. it seems more likely that momma timberlake, and not her cast, is delaying her big day.

    it's a good thing for ashanti she moved on to nelly. her ex-boyfriend and founder of her record label, irv gotti, was charged with money laundering in a crack and heroin operation. the dudes from office space sure could have used gotti's help.

    now we know how j. lo keeps that junk in the trunk. she recently requested "soft baked chocolate chip cookies, sour cream-and-onion potato chips, nacho cheese doritos, m&ms, snickers, hershey bars, white bread, american cheese and caffeine-free pepsi 'NOT DIET'" for her dressing room at the world music awards.

    glory hallelujah! britpoppa can finally stop crying. the rape charges pressed against anthony anderson, star of "hang time", back in july have been dismissed due to "suspicious testimony".

    alicia keys must be the most down to earth diva on the planet. she spent her 24th birthday in new york, cosmic bowling. "i'm the worst bowler on the planet," she said. care to make a wager on that, miss keys? britpoppa is a notoriously awful bowler.

    elizabeth hurley is trying to get down to her ideal weight of 105 pounds the old fashioned way. no, not eating well and exercising. she's starving herself. way to be a role model, liz.

    penelope cruz survived an attempted purse snatching last sunday in paris, resulting in her hiring her first bodyguard. two thieves broke the window of her mercedes with a rock, but were stopped when her chauffeur sped off.

    kylie ponders the idea of covering the bangles on her next album while out at the paris couture shows. you know, cause she's wearing those big bracelets.
  • Wednesday, January 26, 2005

    hardly a soul ventured to guess at the latest semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. the two guesses we did receive, nicole richie and britney spears, were pretty good. we could see either of these ladies pulling the major wardrobe misstep of the heinous bronze cowboy boots. but, the fashion victim here was jay-z's first lady herself, beyonce. can i get a what what?
    "are you looking at my nonexistent breasts?" wonders kate bosworth as she spots a paparazzi documenting her walking the dog.

    so i guess jennifer garner isn't completely oblivious. she told michael vartan that elektra was awful. unfortunately, her daredevil contract obligated her to do it.

    kate moss is a real class act. she already broke off things with pete doherty, who yesterday declared his love for her. she did the dumping via text message. could it have been pal, sadie frost's influence?

    another crushing blow to the gals still crushing on julian casablancas of the strokes: his fiancee, juliet joslin, has been wedding gown shopping. in fact, she's the friend who was eyeing gowns with drew barrymore.

    wanna see some pictures of halle berry mud wrestling? . . . oh, i forgot to mention she was doing said wrestling with a pig.

    the britney downfall continues. ms. spears-federline has developed another personality. when she acts bitchy, she calls herself "mona lisa". if that's the case, we're thinking she must rarely go by britney anymore.

    kelly osbourne points and laughs at a mullet, unaware of the ironic fact that she is sporting the worst bowl cut britpoppa has ever seen.

    big surprise. snoop dogg has weed on his rider. he included premium grade on the list of required backstage goodies for his concert at sundance monday (where tobey maguire showed off his white boy moves).

    emma "baby spice" bunton sex secrets: she lost her virginity when she was 16, she's never had a threesome and melanie "sporty spice" chisholm once gave her a vibrator as a gift.

    what could make your cell phone even tackier than that jenna jameson wallpaper you put on it in a drunken stupor? that jenna jameson moan tone you put on it while completely sober.

    don't be surprised if you find a few new coldplay tracks online. some of their upcoming album has been leaked, which has the band in a panic.

    elijah wood experiments with the elvis look at sundance. oh let him be your teddy bear.
    britpoppa has a lot of meetings at work today. we're very busy and important. come back in the afternoon for your fix . . . if you dare!

    Tuesday, January 25, 2005

    2001: a gossip odyssey
    enough with the hubbub, let's let the retrospective gossip begin.

    on this day in 2001 people were whispering that:
  • julia roberts was going to wed benjamin bratt. only five months later, they actually split up, sans nuptials. it's all good, though. they're both married with children now.
  • johnny depp would take the part of chuck barris, originally intended for mike myers, in confessions of a dangerous mind. the film was to be directed by bryan singer. the role eventually went to sam rockwell and served as george clooney's directorial debut.
  • tom cruise's cousin, william mapother, would be the next thing. have you heard of him? neither has britpoppa.
  • russell crowe was gettin' jiggy with courtney love. the two spent the night together after the golden globes. these days, you couldn't get an a-list actor to touch courtney with a ten foot pole.
  • anthony edwards was going to leave "er". unfortunately for this top gun star, his post-emergency room career turned out to be more julianna marguiles than george clooney.

    four years ago today:
  • mia kirshner turned 26.
  • alicia keys turned 20.
  • in this week's edition of hart britpoppa vows to bring you even more half-assed gossip reporting. read on for further explanation.

    britpoppa's just might be the one household in america that does not watch "desperate housewives". we gave the first episode a try, but we didn't give a damn what was buried under that swimming pool or who teri hatcher was going to lay next. we had enough of the hag back when she was lois lane. and that's just the problem. this show is full of has-beens (hatcher, nicolette sheridan) and never-wases (eva longoria, jesse metcalfe). the only thing it has going for it is marcia cross and that's not really saying much. the final straw was when they graced the cover of us weekly. if your name isn't jennifer, britney, lindsay or brad, you really don't belong there.

    we're especially peeved by the fact that everyone seems to think that the topic is so ground-breaking. i mean, didn't any of these people read the feminine mystique? the idea of frustrated home-makers is far from new. it has surfaced in numerous forms in entertainment in recent years including, but certainly not limited to, serial mom, far from heaven and "roseanne". "desperate housewives" is no more refreshing than a bottle of flat sprite. it's simply "melrose place" for suburban 40-somethings.

    because of our disgust with the latest television phenomenon, we've decided to pull a lloyd grove and declare that we will never report "desperate housewives" gossip again. eva longoria could be abducted by aliens and we wouldn't give her one sentence. teri hatcher could walk out of the house in a full-on lara flynn boyle tutu and we wouldn't post the pics. basically, unless one of them does something worthy of the yahoo news front page (or leaves the show), you won't hear about them here. this is britpoppa, signing off.
    katie holmes seems to be the latest in a long line of shrinking celebrities. maybe she thinks having a chanel bag that weighs more than she does is the key to getting some good movie roles again.

    armageddon is upon us. the counting crows have been nominated for an oscar. britpoppa's favorite nods: cate blanchett, natalie portman, clive owen, kate winslet, lemony snicket for costumes, eternal sunshine for original screenplay, before sunset for adapted screenplay and our marty for the aviator. if anyone could get britpoppa in a may/december, it would be marty. delish.

    no one gets between pamela anderson and her latest conquest. and we're not talking about her men, either. (she apparently got into a screaming match with current b-list beau, stephen dorff at sundance's marquee on friday. [is he really b-list because i read somewhere else that he was c-list?]) no, pamela's a true material girl. she took the diesel coat right off a pr aide's back. bitch.

    paige davis may soon be trading careers. she has been let go from tlc's uber hit, "trading spaces", allegedly due to poor ratings. the real reason may have to do with her raunchy strip tease at a fundraiser last summer and the rumors of a (fake) internet sex tape.

    it seems details of nicole kidman's personal life are to die for. the actress recently discovered that her home was bugged with a listening device. and don't spread rumors about her aussie pal, russell crowe's, talent with a screwdriver. he's fighting back at claims that he couldn't build an ikea crib. why would he buy an ikea crib? isn't he like a bazillionaire (same source)?

    if page six is to be believed (haha), paris hilton is a real romantic. she wrote her backstreet beau, nick carter some love and apology notes last year that fell into the hands of the tabloid paper. the notes feature puppies, magazine cut-outs and such sweet nothings as "you are the shit" and "paris feels real pain".

    even scarier than skinny miss holmes is puny miss armstrong. samaire showed off her finest moves with her new co-star, lindsay lohan, at a girls gone wild party in new orleans. classy.

    "project runway's" morgan quinn, the flighty model with the walk from heaven, is proving to be the model from hell in real life as well as the show. last week, she missed a photo shoot because of a "car accident" and a subsequent "concussion". "i'm not Naomi Campbell, you know," said quinn. yeah, at least naomi has the looks to back up the attitude.

    pete doherty's a smitten kitten for kate moss. he's openly declared his love for her (after, what? a week?) and they've even gotten matching tattoos of each other's initials inside hearts. what won over pete? not kate's fame or beauty, but her "beautiful soul".

    julia stiles seems to have a real green thumb. she recently brought a rescued plant to a party for jailbird, david lachapelle, because she was afraid it wasn't getting enough light. yeah, those hip parties are always really well lit.

    perv alert: keira knightley may be dropping her top in her upcoming movie, the jacket, with adrien brody. but as far as future nude scenes go, keira says, "you're not going to see my arse! the top half is fine but the bottom half isn't." also, for pervs stuck in the '80s, deborah "debbie" gibson will follow fellow teeny bopper, tiffany, and pose for next month's playboy.

    clothier to the stars, fred segal was almost the site of a lesbian cat fight when portia derossi arrived while ellen degeneres's ex, alexandra hedison was waiting for a smoothie. hedison headed over to tackle derossi, but her friends thankfully got in the way.

    did elisha cuthbert get some bizarre plastic surgery or is it just us? could be that buying your clothes from forever 21 and dating a guy with a trucker hat that says "if it flies, it dies" makes anyone look cheap.

    before you go and spit on someone again, make sure she's not a friend of michelle rodriguez. bijou phillips made the mistake of projectile salivating on michelle's bud over an ex-boyfriend and wound up running from the girlfight star the rest of the night. "i could urinate on her," said rodriguez. unfortunately, bijou might be the type of gal who would like that, michelle.

    lindsay, will your hate for hillary duff ever end? i mean, it was just aaron carter and he's an incredible douche. but anyway, the feud is clearly still going strong as lohan recently ripped down a picture of duff from the set of her new movie, just my luck.

    stockard channing has been charged with drunk driving and will be arraigned february 9. at the time she was pulled over, the grease star was driving her car, "sloshed lightning".

    everyone's favorite indie rock cameo man, jack white, will make his next appearance on beck's upcoming record. we hear that hansen allowed white to commiserate on the album in exchange for his commitment to scientology (via pink is the new blog).

    it's a girl! britpoppa sends congrats to j.k. rowling, who gave birth to a healthy baby girl on sunday in edinburgh.

    shame on you, ashanti. it looks like you and nelly are more than friends in this pic. is it us or is it getting hot in herre?

    Monday, January 24, 2005

    perhaps you've noticed that britpoppa hasn't been up to standards lately. our home computer is down. it makes it difficult for us to do things like post mp3s and such. plus, we have the winter doldrums and just don't feel like doing much talking. the one thing we have launched is our use of the royal "we". we hope you enjoy all the obnoxiousness that it implies.

    of course, the only thing more obnoxious than a person pretentiously referring to herself as "we", might be the boots picture above. hot damn, they're ugly. who would be so ridiculous as to wear them out in public? i'm not giving any clues to this semi-weekly celebrity guessing game. the lime-light tag is more than enough for you ingenues out there. so leave your guesses in the comments section. i'll post a full picture of the offender on wednesday evening.
    welcome to an all-sundance illustrated edition of britpoppa, featuring keri russell in an urban outfitters t-shirt. celebs - they dress like you (if k.r. even counts as a celeb any more)! see also, paris hilton in last year's arden b chanel knock-off blazer.

    paris was having all sorts of trouble at the film festival, having to dodge her ex, rick salomon, and his reunited girlfriend, shannen doherty, several times. life is so hard for an heiress. maybe we'll finally understand what it's like when she opens her chain of stores featuring innumerable paris hilton items.

    still sulking over the fact you didn't get to rub elbows with heidi klum and hillary clinton at the trump wedding on saturday? pretend you were there with these photos.

    who's the next celeb to walk down the aisle? may be drew barrymore. she was wedding gown shopping with a friend in nyc recently (via a socialite's life). or could it be christina aguilera? celebrity spies have seen her boyfriend, jordan bratman, out ring shopping.

    simon cowell is probably used to people mistaking him for the grinch, but not a homeless person. he was recently given $2 by a couple who saw him standing outside the ivy and suspected he was a vagrant.

    the way michael vartan's been sulking around hollywood, he's likely to never be kissed again. star magazine says he is still upset over his break up with jennifer garner and having to film steamy love scenes with her is no help.

    you've gotta bundle up when your band is called the frozen embryos, right jared leto? no wait, your real band's called 30 seconds to mars, so what's your excuse for that hat?

    man, those celebrity photographers stay up pretty late. david lachapelle was arrested outside marquee's temporary location at sundance on saturday morning at 8 am. he was apparently disturbing the peace.

    also disturbing the peace at sundance was ex-potential first daughter, alexandra kerry. she went in to the converse suite and made a fuss, requesting several pairs of shoes, even though the clerk was busy with someone else. "i am NOT impressed with what's going on here," said kerry to the clerk. it takes a lot to impress a kerry.

    apparently a "worst-dresser" can impress a heinz, though. kerry's half-brother, chris heinz, is finally able to go public with his relationship with diane kruger now that she has split from her husband. kruger is most recently known for her horrible golden globes gown and her horrible film, wicker park.

    how was this rumor not spread more quickly. angelina jolie wants to adopt a tsunami orphan. of course she does. julia roberts was also deeply affected by the disaster and has matched sandra bullock's $1 million donation, which she put in her twins's names.

    it work'd for punk'd. ashton kutcher is set to host another reality show, this time for the wb. the show will be called "beauty and the geek" and it pairs bimbos with nerds to see who is the most compatible. this one sounds like a real winner.

    kylie just can't get her lost royalties out of her head. she's suing her former producer for money she claims he owes her from a re-release of a greatest hits album.

    while no one can deny that keira knightley and her man are looking cute on the festival circuit, britpoppa wishes she would grow her hair long again.

    let's hope the termination of proenza schouler designers, jack mccollough and lazaro hernandez's relationship will not mean the termination of their amazing line of clothing. the two have gotten their own apartments, but will continue with their label for now.

    puff daddy must have really gotten into the life of a stage actor when he performed last year in "a raisin in the sun." he's now toying with the idea of buying andrew lloyd webber's london theaters. i've always liked the idea of a black hamlet.

    poor christian slater. first, he nearly misses being knifed, and now he's splitting up with his wife of 4 years, ryan haddon. maybe she got fed up with the strip clubs and beatings.

    nicole kidman has some advice for you gals with a wedding trigger finger. don't buy your dress before you meet your man. she thinks having found her wedding dress prior to meeting tom cruise cursed her marriage. couldn't be that the groom was gay, could it?

    r.i.p. johny c.

    maggie gyllenhaal singlehandedly attempts to bring back the jumpsuit. hey, if j. lo couldn't do it three years ago, you have no chance. naomi watts tries to do the same for wraparound shades.

    Friday, January 21, 2005

    chloe bag: $2,400. chloe silverado bag: $2,400. personal assistant: $75,000. old navy flip flops: $4.50. knowing you're famous enough to have your every move analyzed: priceless.

    the news you've been waiting nearly 8 years for: portishead is recording a new album. britpoppa's still bitter about the fact that the portishead show review she wrote for her high school newspaper in 1997 was hacked to shreds.

    more music news: beck's new record, guero drops march 29. the idiosyncratic scientologist will be on the cover of the next issue of the boy's magazine, harp.

    more proof that jessica simpson is retarded: she's afraid of dolphins.

    you haven't seen the last of "survivor's" boston rob and amber. the couple will compete in the 7th season of "the amazing race" and their wedding may air on cbs in the spring or summer.

    dennis quaid and his wife just can't seem to get enough of the titty bars. just after losing his id at scores last week, they were spotted at the hustler club.

    britpoppa still can't figure out how she kept from molesting mos def that time she saw him in soho. that is one fine brother.

    sarah ferguson, ie, fergie, the erstwhile dutchess and weight watchers spokesperson, has received close to $2 million for the movie rights to a romance novel she's penned. maybe fabio will star.

    jenna bush has caused another silly controversy. this time, her ut "hook 'em horns" hand sign has been misinterpreted by sign language translators to mean "bullshit". while that may, indeed, be an accurate interpretation of her father's presidency, that was not the intention of the her signal.

    who's stupid enough to try to check into an airport with a gun? michael moore's bodyguard, apparently. the man who claims to work for the filmmaker was arrested on wednesday at jfk airport.

    the crew of vanity fair actually had a legitimate reason to stare at reese witherspoon's ample cleavage for the film. during the shooting of one scene, she got a frog stuck between her breasts. the little guy jumped onto the actress's chest after escaping from her co-star.

    there may not be any room for jello where bill cosby is headed. he's been accused of sexual assault by a canadian woman who claims that the comedian drugged and molested her.

    this is madonna's security guard, juan valdez. please, make yourselves acquainted, but stay at arm's length from the popstar.

    beyonce has something to celebrate, but it's not her engagement to jay-z. her dog, munchie, has been declared america's most eligible pet. the editorial director of animal fair magazine, who made the declaration, said, "we've already been overloaded with calls from people trying to set their dogs up with munchie!" looks like munchie's going to get laid!

    i have trouble buying the fact that charlize theron is a size 6-8. find out more celeb's sizes at the auction for clothes off our backs. the proceeds from golden globes gowns that many of the biggest stars wore last sunday will be donated to unicef for the tsunami victims.

    "my nnn-name's bbb-bruce willis." the die hard hero struggled with a stuttering problem when he was young before going to a speech therapist.

    how do you get the two former co-hosts of mtv's "singled out" together? ask them to bartend at sundance. jenny mccarthy and carmen electra will be doing just that at an entertainment weekly party at the utah film festival.

    in an attempt to escape the constant scrutiny of the american press, scarlett johansson is currently house hunting in london. she finds the notting hill neighborhood to be the most fitting to her personality.

    that irish brunette next shopping next to you just might be nicole kidman. she says she puts on wigs and affects an irish accent when she is trying to get a little privacy.

    even j. lo is stoked for the revenge of the sith. she's hoping her princess leia hairdo for the new fat joe video will give her a chance at a last minute cameo.

    Thursday, January 20, 2005

    to borrow some lingo from britpoppa's predecessor, uncle grambo, this is the best news evs! david fincher, director of fight club and se7en, may do a movie about the zodiac killer. did i mention that britpoppa hearts serial killers?

    also in movie news, sundance starts tonight with happy endings from don roos, who helped make christina ricci a household name again with the opposite of sex and didn't help to make lauren graham a household name with his series based on the movie, "myob". happy endings stars maggie gyllenhaal and lisa kudrow. for more info on what's premiering at sundance, check out imdb's site.
    even jimmy page and robert plant couldn't ease brad pitt's pain. estranged wife, jennifer aniston's also looking blue on the set of her new film.

    kathy griffin got into a mess of trouble for one of the comments she made at last sunday's golden globes. she jokingly stated that dakota fanning had gone into rehab, prompting e to issue a public apology. fanning, of course, is doing just fine and is about to start a new movie version of charlotte's web. she will play charlotte's minder, fern, while julia roberts will do the voice of the titular spider. the all-star cast also includes steve buscemi, andre 3000, oprah and many others.

    wilmer valderrama's career won't be ending even though it seems "that '70s show" will be. in addition to a possible spin-off for his fez character, he has a comic book film deal in which he will play "el muerto".

    here's proof that british journalists have way too much time on their hands.

    paris hilton may face legal repercussions for the fit she threw at an la bodega last month. she ripped down a poster advertising her sex tape and then stole a copy of the dvd. charges of petty-theft and vandalism have been made against by the store's owner.

    vivienne westwood is cooking up a frightening new ad campaign. she's asked marilyn manson and his girlfriend dita von teese to be her models.

    the picture no one wanted to see: jack osbourne bending over. i didn't know paper denim and cloth made jeans in husky.

    popbitch bytes:
  • stella mccartney isn't acting the part of the pristine pregnant woman. she recently requested to be sat in the smoking section of a london restaurant.
  • madonna has found a new way to fight wrinkles: the faye. it's a bright light used in filming, named for faye dunaway.
  • prince harry is facing more bad press after the nazi incident. he may have gone to argentina last month in an attempt to escape the father of a girl he allegedly deflowered and knocked up (the baby in question was aborted). also, he may not technically be a royal, but, in fact, the result of his mother's affair with james hewitt.

    samuel l. jackson and his (vassar alum!) daughter, zoe, caused a bit of a hullabaloo in milan recently. the two were there for the fashion shows, but ended up going clubbing, causing photographers to think she was his mistress. when his mother heard of the "affair", she called him up to scold him.

    fugginitup's favorite fug, courtney peldon, was stabbed on the set of a movie yesterday. a co-star was accidentally given a real knife for a scene they were shooting instead of a prop knife.

    peep the video for the postal service's "we will become silhouettes" via stereogum here.

    oj simpson's daughter, sydney, may be taking after her father. she slapped a cop at a high school basketball game last saturday when he tried to break up her fight with another girl.

    jennifer lopez and her frog prince, marc anthony, roam the streets of new york in between takes of her next video.

    it's been way too long since we've had some tara reid news. so here's two very unnewsworthy items about everyone's favorite drunk. she hates feet because her father used to make her take off his shoes. "it was awful," she says, "because they would smell so bad. we would, like, cry." and if you're planning on breaking into her home, don't expect to find her inside. tara says, "i have a (plan) . . . on where i'd hide. i have the whole pattern in my head like i'm crazy!" you're certainly crazy, tara.

    bono's wife, ali hewson, has taken on one of his many causes herself. she plans to launch a line of clothing made entirely from fabrics produced by fair trade workers.

    speaking of clothing lines, jennifer lopez filmed the process of preparing her new high end line to debut at spring fashion week next month. the show, "jennifer lopez: beyond the runway", will air february 24 on mtv.

    if you've got a thing for gandhi, you'll be happy to hear that ben kingsley is splitting up with his wife of 15 months. according to his publicist, "for some time now, [they] have been leading separate lives." considering they've only been together for 15 months, "some time now" probably means the whole marriage. the split may actually have to do with some recently published pictures of her kissing another man.

    nicole richie needs some jolt cola. she recently fell asleep in a club bathroom, much to the dismay of the many ladies waiting for their turn outside.

    heidi klum gets a little hide-y with leni at jfk airport. hopefully she'll let the trumps see her daughter's little face when she attends their wedding this weekend.
  • britpoppa is an asshole. i forgot to post the answers to the semi-weekly celebrity guessing game last night. sue me.

    1 - katie holmes (the one wrong guess was alyssa milano)
    2 - eliza dushku (guesses included: miramax lackey, someone from the cast of "charmed", ashlee simpson, jamie lynn discala, amber tamblyn and nicky hilton)
    3 - thora birch (guesses included: mary louise parker and erika christensen)

    Wednesday, January 19, 2005

    scarlett johansson is too famous to let her feet touch the ground just anywhere. it seems she's hired someone to carry her from place to place. the perfect picture for this website.

    awesome news for fashionistas on a budget. zac posen plans to do a lower-priced sportswear line in the future. expect claire danes to be a big fan.

    if lindsay lohan hopes to see her folks back together, she may have to perform a real life parent trap. her mother, dina, has finally filed for divorce from her crazy father.

    too much information item of the day: eva longoria and teri hatcher LOVE vibrators!!!

    imdb news:
  • in the first sensible move they've ever made, the osbournes will sell their beverly hills mansion; it's too big now that jack and kelly have moved out.
  • peter jackson and his wife are set to adapt a screenplay of the bestselling book, the lovely bones.
  • if you've still got a thing for gillian anderson from "the x-files", it's time to get over it (and get a life). she married her boyfriend last month on a tropical island.

    the movie may be 5 months away, but the star wars marketing has begun. the latest toy for the franchise? a special mr. potato head called darth tater. more sw news: samuel l. jackson's character, mace windu, will die in an elaborate light saber battle.

    paris hilton just can't get any privacy. first, her boyfriend sells their sex tape and now, a hacker has managed to read her sidekick emails. what next? cameras following her around as she and nicole richie encounter numerous humorous situations?

    kate hudson took baby ryder out for a day of shopping for his birthday. one-year-olds love to shop. later that evening she dazzled the crowds at the globes.

    tv guide news:
  • a "family guy" straight to dvd movie is being made to tell the story of stewie's search for his real father.
  • ty pennington is safe and sound after undergoing an appendectomy. i bet the "extreme makeover: home edition" team bawled over that one.
  • billy campbell, also known as the rocketeer and the ex-fiance of virginia madsen and jennifer connelly, will star in several episodes of "the oc" as a possible homewrecker.
  • it's time to shelf your love for raymond. the series finale of ray romano's sitcom will be a standard half-hour episode.

    gwen stefani's days of imitating alice in wonderland won't end with the start of her next project. she plans on dressing up as storybook characters for her future children to keep them entertained.

    britney spears's dog bitbit has been leaving her bitbits all over the house. along with "sister" pups, lacy and lucky, the chihuahua has been doing her business on the carpet and giving kevin poopy presents in his closet. could be that mom is too busy buying baby clothes to train them properly?

    and you thought "apprentice" overload had reached its peak with the cruise. clearly, you don't know trump. he and mark burnett are now thinking about turning the show into a broadway musical.

    giselle bundchen may be getting back at her beau, leonardo dicaprio, for keeping her waiting. the supermodel, who has publicly stated she would like to settle down and have kids, was spotted flirting and "canoodling" with a male model in rio. it wouldn't be leo's first rejection. he was denied a part on "baywatch" because david hasselhoff didn't think he was right for the show.

    more news from the set of the borat movie: director todd phillips actually left the film because angry audience members from the rodeo incident have been sending the filmmakers death threats.

    mary-kate and ashley olsen carry matching bags and coffee cups. they're only doing it to please us; everyone loves it when twins look alike.

    don't count on seeing natalie portman at the oscars. even if she's nominated, she may snub the event since choosing what to wear makes her nervous. apparently with good reason. that chloe dress she wore to the golden globes didn't do much for her.

    "are you talking to me?" robert deniro may soon be repeating those infamous words in a sequel to taxi driver. he and martin scorsese are in talks to revisit travis bickle.

    anna wintour's "one love" may have been for bob marley. according to a new book about the icy vogue editor, she enjoyed a very lusty week with the reggae god, barely leaving the bed they shared.

    "survivor's" richard hatch may be a sneaky as a snake, but he couldn't put one over on the irs. the show's first winner pleaded guilty of tax evasion surrounding his winnings.

    ellen degeneres can't get enough her her new girlfriend, portia derossi. since her talk show resumed filming on jan.5, portia has been in the audience every time. they even silently communicate to each other throughout the shoot.

    lucy liu takes her dog for a walk in runyon canyon. she's such an angel to deal with the construction.
  • Tuesday, January 18, 2005

    did you know that it is 24 degrees today in dc? fahrenheit. with the wind chill, it feels like 12 degrees. and that's a fact (i read it on the weather channel website). you're lucky britpoppa even bothered to get out of bed today, much less report gossip. frankly, i should be given a medal because i volunteered to supervise recess for kindergarteners at a local elementary school today. with all this action, half-assed review tuesday will have to return in the future. in the meantime, buy some of those pseudo-vintage t-shirts that all the kids have been wearing lately. you don't even have to leave the house!
    cameron diaz looked radiant as ever as she worked on her upcoming mtv show. unfortunately, she'll be giving up her travel tips, not her beauty secrets.

    it's a wedding that only donald trump could plan, as the bride will wear a $100k dior gown picked by vogue editors. but melania knauss won't be on the typical bride diet; she needs to eat in order to carry herself in the heavy thing.

    christina ricci's grandparents hate it when the actress neglects to wear lipstick in their presence. but they love her anorexia. if you want to imitate her look, keep hemorrhoid cream in the fridge, not food.

    "the bachelorette's" jerry may be going for a hat trick. if he wins the heart of jen schefft, it will be his third reality tv honey, having dated lori trespicio from "the real world" (back to new york) and lisa donahue, "big brother 3's" winner.

    kid rock was nearly stranded in moscow when he lost his passport after a night of hard partying with the native gals. he was there to watch buddy darren mccarty play in igor larionov's farewell game.

    adrianne curry isn't the only one who got some action in the "surreal life" house. possibly inter-sex chyna seems to have found her match in male model, marcus schenkenberg. schenkenberg clearly has poor taste as he previously dated another sex tape star, pamela anderson.

    oh my god, britney's stomach isn't completely flat. she must be pregnant! someone, call us weekly! and while you're at it, let them know she's been visiting maternity stores. she's also recording a kylie song, doing a voice for madonna's english roses movie and thinking about hosting a talk show.

    bad news for "life as we know it" and life as we know it: kelly osbourne will be playing the lead part in hairspray on broadway. it makes sense, though. that show's supposed to be tacky. meanwhile mummy osbourne has donated $190k worth of jewelry to the tsunami victims. just what starving children need, diamond earrings.

    sarah jessica parker may soon be eating for two. she's been spotted buying a pregnancy test by intouch magazine. doesn't she have an assistant to do that for her?

    let's hope they emptied the spit valve. katie couric was showing her sexy side during a wild make-out session with her trumpet player boyfriend, chris botti, in an nyc restaurant on staurday night. what will matt lauer think?

    apparently jennifer aniston was ready to have brad's baby. she had prepared a birthday gift of a pregnancy test and a "poignant" note for him, but he rejected her with the line that he "no longer recognized her". the final blow came with his departure from their caribbean holiday in order to go to a football game.

    samuel l. jackson proved again that he is one smooth motha. the crazy youngsters on the set of his latest film, coach carter (which was number one at the box office last weekend) tried to prank him by replacing one of his props with a blow-up doll. the badass actor simply played along as if nothing was wrong.

    charlize theron tries to have a low profile as she leaves a los angeles restaurant. lucky for us, it didn't fool the paparazzi.

    late-breaking golden globes news:
  • mischa barton and brandon davis got into one of their infamous public arguments. in true "oc" fashion, she slapped him.
  • toby maguire missed the event because he has put on too much weight. so much for those modeling plans.
  • jamie (ie, james) king was the latest blonde to go after zach braff.
  • quentin tarantino found a blonde of his own, too, possibly cheating on girlfriend, sofia coppola.
  • nicky hilton lost the battle of the bitch to all-time champion, shannen doherty.
  • a new couple has emerged as "lost" co-stars dominic monaghan and evageline lilly were spotted giving each other more than just friendly kisses at the nbc party. hey, isn't "lost" on abc?

    sasha baron cohen's borat has reached another bump in the road. after nearly inciting a riot for his tv show earlier this month, he has now caused a frenzy on the set of the character's movie, having offended director, todd phillips so much that he flew the coup.

    i never thought of julianne moore as being trashy, but apparently she is. she earned herself a summons because the garbage outside her west village townhouse has piled up to outrageous levels during the home's renovation.

    kate moss is having another roll in the hay. her latest conquest is ex-libertines frontman pete doherty. what is is about the bad boys, kate?

    it may be a south pacific wedding for jude law and sienna miller. the future groom has been having discussions with a property owner on the island about a possible venue for the event.

    jay-z and beyonce smile at the photographer who invaded their limo instead of attacking him. see mom, all rapper aren't thugs.
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