Friday, December 10, 2004

yes, that cross-eyed, big-haired beauty really is jennifer lopez. no wonder her love don't cost a thing. you'd have to pay me to get into bed with that.

james brown might not be able to stay a sex machine. he's the latest celebrity to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. he, robert deniro and jerry orbach have started a support group.

imdb news:
  • "mister cellophane" john c. reilly is lobbying for a role in the guys and dolls remake. maybe nathan detroit?
  • jason biggs is looking for love on match.com.
  • jude law and sadie frost's old nanny may sell their secrets to the british press.

    speaking of sexy sadie, if i lost "the sexiest man alive" to skanky sienna miller, i'd be hitting the bottle too. she had to be carried out of a bar after getting plastered the other night.

    if it won't make it on british tv, we know we'll never see it here. the scissor sisters new video for "filthy gorgeous", as heard on "queer eye" commercials, has been banned in the uk because of the visuals, which include sex toys and spanking. filthy indeed.

    now you can dress like a circus clown on flintstone vitamins too! kelly osbourne has done a fashion line for hot topic called stiletto killers, soon to be seen on fat goth chicks in suburbs across america. love the "gotta pee" shirt. (not)

    ben kingsley is the man. his marriage is in trouble because he insists that his wife's friends call him sir. i had a boyfriend like that once...

    last night's "the oc" proved ryan really has a case of the andie mcphees. why is he into the so not hot illegitimate daughter of caleb nichol? and i can't wait for the jimmy/julie affair. maybe this is what makes marissa switch teams. you can't blame em, girl. sex with an ex can be hot. also, my prediction of the world domination of gwen stefani's song, "cool" is starting to prove true. it played at the sn-oc dance.

    britney in vegas bits:
  • lacy may be feeling the older sibling blues. new chihuahua, bitbit, is getting all the attention while she's at training camp.
  • brit's certainly boozing it up for a supposedly pregnant woman. she's been pounding the sake, merlot and pineapple rum, causing her to start crying and puking in a parking lot.
  • she revisited the site of her first honeymoon, with jason alexander, the palms.

    and here's a britney on an airplane bit: apparently mrs. spears-federline was asked to put her shoes back on when her foot odor disturbed passengers on a flight from ny to la. i guess the aroma was really toxic.

    also at the bmas, paris hilton may be bedding adam levine of maroon 5. most likely she won him over by reciting her infamous line, "that's hot". and usher refused to walk the red carpet when they did not clear it for him.

    lindsay lohan's pissed because she only lost a card case and not a purse last week. but she won't "rant and rave" because "that's not her style." yeah and sequins weren't liberace's style.

    jerry springer will begin hosting a 3-hour daily radio show starting in january. finally someone is bringing class back to the airwaves.

    proving that age restrictions and open container laws don't apply to the famous and excessively wealthy, mischa barton and her boyfriend brandon davis, not of "even stevens" or "undressed", enjoy a beer and cocktail, respectively, while they walk.

    alicia keys will co-host "live with regis and kelly" while kelly ripa is on vacation december 22. i'm hoping the two will recreate her duet with usher, "my boo".

    kate beckinsale stalkers rejoice! she's revealed the name she uses to check in to hotels, sigourney beaver. excellent porn star name.

    leonardo dicaprio almost had a 13 inch dong. he turned down the role of dirk diggler in boogie nights to play jack in titanic.

    things got ludicrous in alabama when ludacris was scheduled to do a short concert in conjunction with a toy drive for a radio station. the performance was cancelled after some small fights broke out. fyi: my 63-year-old mother thinks ludacris is "clever".

    mary-kate and ashley olsen kept their jealous fellow students at bay and upped their activist quotient (so important in college), by signing a petition to ensure fair treatment of workers in their perhaps sweatshop style clothing factories.

    i watched this week's episode of "america's next top model" last night and had an epiphany. is it just me or does the scorching hot eva have a scarlett johansson thing going on? she's not going to beat blind amanda or african queen yaya, but girl's still got it going on.
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