Friday, December 24, 2004

matthew broderick is still fuming over not being asked to be a part of the cast of the life aquatic. he hopes wearing the film's signature wooly cap will erase some of the scars of the stepford wives.

portia de rossi is having her ex-lover's initials lasered off her ring finger as she's now settled in with her new lady, ellen degeneres. i'm getting my back hair lasered off for my lover this christmas. enjoy, kitty!

ozzy osbourne knows the way to woman's heart is through the cemetery. he used to steal flowers for sharon off of graves. what a romantic.

makes you wonder if rebecca loos had a bit of a belly. david beckham revealed that he thinks his wife victoria is sexiest when she has a bun in the oven.

also beckham related, if your rack was as nice as liz hurley's you might be ignoring dress codes too. the shagalicious austin powers star disregarded vic's request to dress modestly for her son's christening and may have ended up on the spice girl's naughty list.

with lindsay lohan, paris hilton and angelina jolie hopping in and out of his bed, can you believe that colin farrell gets lonely sometimes? it's not easy being green.

speaking of angelina, the hollywood wild child has bought herself a predictable christmas gift, a $20,000 motorcycle. she had to buy it fast as the dealer told her otherwise the bike would be gone in sixty seconds.

kylie might be the hardest working woman in show business. the aussie songstress is spending tomorrow performing for 500 russian oil tycoons. i wouldn't turn down nearly $1 million to shake my ass for some ruskies, either.

paige davis is certainly not squashing rumors of her sex tape by missing scheduled appearances. she was supposed to go on "the today show", but was inexplicably a no show. i can't wait to see her rendition of "i feel pretty" on kazaa.

j. lo shows some of her signature self-love in a new promo shot for her "rebirth" album due out this spring.

always generous, bono has created a school of sorts to teach rock stars to be better at their job. the scissor sisters and the killers, among others, have listened to the irishman's advice regarding homesickness and public relations. "i say some really basic things - like, if you go over and you tell americans they're stupid, they're probably not going to come and see you." sure we will bono, americans are fond of self-loathing.

poor teri hatcher. the former lois lane will be wearing a cast on her toe this christmas. she broke her toe when a party guest stepped on it.

awesome imdb news: ricky gervais of the brilliant uk show, "the office" is going to write an episode of "the simpsons". bizarre imdb news: kevin spacey is having six oil portraits of himself as bobby darin commissioned.

gwen stefani only has one thing that stays in the way of her picture perfect figure: pizza. i know your pain, girly.

britpoppa's least favorite celebrity, fur-wearing blabbermouth sharon stone, is getting naked for a romantic comedy with bill murray directed by jim jarmusch. good call, jim. if you have to deal with the bitch, it's a lot easier if you can just stare at her Ts.

kate beckinsale has been pick-pocketed twice since landing in london for appearances the aviator. i can't blame the pick-pockets. they're just taking good charlotte's advice: if you're gonna rob someone, choose a movie star.

access hollywood's" billy bush has lost the show another star. his embarrassingly juvenile nude scene questions have cost him future interviews with leonardo dicaprio. doesn't the president's cousin know leo's an artist?

there isn't really anyone on the end of that phone call, is there, ethan? didn't think so.