Wednesday, December 15, 2004

jessica's so annoyed jessica simpson impatiently waits for her puppy to go peepee. doesn't that mutt know she has louis vuitton bags to buy and eyelashes to bat? meanwhile, her dad gives gq some info on her biggest assets, "She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!" no, but as her father, you should look away. perv.

liv tyler finally had her baby yesterday morning at 4. she gave birth to a little elfin boy whose name has yet to be released. also in celebrity babies, william baldwin and chynna phillips had a baby girl last week as did thandie newton and her husband.

if you're wondering how the nativity scene at madame tussauds's looked after it was wrecked by an enraged visitor, here you go.

minnie driver saw a man in a sombrero and poncho at the foot of her bed in mexico and identified him as a ghost. actually, minnie, when someone breaks into your room and stares at you while you sleep, that's a stalker.

george michael would like some "freedom" from the gossip that elton john has been spreading around like butter. he says that john is just a slave to the "gay grapevine" and really knows very little about his personal life.

do you want to hear about barbara streisand's colon? yeah me either.

the cool girls like me! paris hilton and lindsay lohan are probably giving ashlee simpson the lowdown on hooking up with colin farrell and telling her she should try it next. that is, unless you believe, page six, who says farrell was bedding a photog last weekend and not miss lohan.

the ny daily news wrongly identifies ashanti as a "rapper" and calls 50 cent, "fitty [as he pronounces his name]" in discussing the rivalry of the two stars that reached the height of awkwardness when they ran into each other at a party for jacob the jeweler. they are so sensitive to their hip-hop readers, aren't they?

celebrity lawsuit news:
  • star jones has been sued by her gardener for promising to mention him in architectural digest and then not following through.
  • sharon stone is suing a los angeles plastic surgeon for falsely claiming to have done work on her.
  • lance armstrong is suing his former assistant as he claims the cyclist owes him $500k. i didn't know that was how lawsuits worked. maybe the next time my friends say i owe them cash, i'll call my lawyer instead.

    keira knightley was hit by a stray bullet on the set of her film domino, but was not badly injured. good thing, a serious injury could have caused a real domino effect on production.

    eva longoria has blamed her golden globes snub on missing the hollywood foreign press luncheon. sounds like wishful thinking, but you never know, the hfp is pretty catty.

    dc: 1, ny: 0. we scored jenna bush, 5 boroughs! suck on this.

    queen is set to tour again in the uk next april. without freddie mercury at the helm, though, i think they'll have a hard time convincing fans that they will rock you.

    check out some nekkid pics of newly married anna kournikova. yowza.

    check out my hat! gotta keep my brain warm, ya'll. i'll need it when i start raising little ones. i'll show my mama this is more than just a phase. if you want to bid on britney's old homework, have a go here (via stereogum).
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