Tuesday, November 30, 2004

today's hart takes a moment to reflect on things that are ugly. and right now, all that is offensive to the eye is summed up in the use of sunglasses as a headband (especially indoors) and paris hilton with brown hair.

about a month ago, i was in a meeting and one of my colleagues was wearing her sunglasses as a headband (as modeled here by nsync's chris kirkpatrick). naturally, i was incredibly disturbed. first of all, it was late october and the sky's condition was certainly not such that protective eyewear would be necessary. secondly, she was indoors. and thirdly, she was indoors at a location other than the ymca. my place of work is not the sort that requires a rigid dress code; jeans are permitted any day of the week. still, sunglasses as a headband?

sunglasses as a headband ought only be allowed when one is outside in bright weather and needs to temporarily view the world via her natural sight, thus pushing the sunglasses away from her eyes (again temporarily). in extreme cases, a person may use her sunglasses as a headband should her hair be particularly wiley and unmanageable via any other means. when this style is attempted for additional purposes to utility, it immediately looks dated. please desist.

since these are supposed to be half-assed reviews, i'll let the gals from the jjb messageboard i read rip paris's new 'do to shreds. here are a few choice comments "it looks awful on her. nikki [sic] pulls the dark off much better." "she looks 50 years old in that photo." "i don't understand why she chops off her hair and then puts in a ton of weave." "the spray on tan and matching lip stick is gross." amen, ladies. i'll add my two cents by saying paris looks like a cheap transexual hooker. if you're going to have brown hair, go pale like renee. or at least go for a darker brown. there are no words for how awful this looks.