Friday, November 05, 2004

michael jackson has been accused of sexual assault again. the alleged event took place 20 years ago at gunpoint. the only gun i can picture mj with is a potato gun.

contact music is reporting that the sisters duff are recording a cover of madonna's "material girl". haylie and hilary plan to star in a film of the same name. expect lindsay lohan to crash the premiere.

last night was puff daddy's big 35th birthday gala. guests included paris hilton, mariah carey (wearing another bridal gown), vivica a. fox and a seemingly breast-baring tara reid.

she just gets crazier and crazier. sharon obsbourne admits to beating up a japanese ozzy fan who snuck into their hotel room in an attempt to get in bed with the incoherent rocker. it's a good thing she caught her, though, i doubt ozzy would have noticed the difference in a wine-fueled haze.

maroon 5's dreamy adam levine claims he is in a "massive feud" with robbie williams because the british pop star continually flirted with his ex-girlfriend when they were still dating. he should know by now that the first sign of success is losing a girlfriend to robbie.

if you don't know who the defamer is by now, you clearly don't read lloyd grove. yesterday the post's gossip scribe reported that december's esquire features an interview with the cheeky mark lisanti who has been the anonymous writer of la's greatest gossip blog. found him on friendster. dude makes a sweet throwback joke about trump ice.

missy elliott's vibrator of choice? the butterfly. the woman who brought us "get ur freak on" said, "i don't bring them on tour with me though. it's a home thing." i question her decision. the only thing that could make a missy show more entertaining are some buzzing vibes.

well the kabbalah doesn't seem to have rid madonna of her desire for vengeance. after elton john publicly berated her, the material girl has decided that revenge is a dish best served chocolate, sending him chocolates that included her picture with the caption, "the bitch is back." the chocolates also contained a note that read,
"Obviously, just have too much time on your hands. I figure if you eat all of these you can spend the next six months in the gym trying to work them off. Of course, the easiest way for you to lose 10 pounds is to just take off your wig. Love, Madge."
the mean spiritedness doesn't enter her household, though. madonna and guy spell out all their curse words to spare their young children's ears. isn't lourdes like 8 now? i think she can probably spell "shit".

freddie prinze jr's career is officially in the shitter. he has made the move from movies to television, having signed a deal with warner bros. to star in a sitcom roughly based on his life.

eminem spent his time away from fame being an active father. he went to all his daughter's school plays and even came to her class to read stories. at this rate, he'll be guest starring on sesame street by february.

alexandra kerry and puff daddy are being blamed for john kerry's loss in the election. yeah, it couldn't have been because the candidate was pretty unlikeable.

natalie portman's nude scenes were cut from the upcoming film closer. who cares, though? didn't everyone already see those topless sunbathing pics from like 4 years ago?

destiny's child's bodyguard is so fat. how fat is he? he's so fat, he broke an elevator.

kate bosworth and sienna miller were up for the role of edie sedgwick in an upcoming biopic of the warhol factory star. unfortunately, sienna appears to have won. haven't these casting directors heard of kirsten dunst?

benny medina, j. lo's old manager, has lost ricky martin as a client as well. i don't understand why he cares, though. the only press ricky has gotten in the last year was due to william hung.

watch out, ladies. al sharpton is a free man. he is splitting from his wife of 24 years.

celebrity kid report: russell and kimora lee simmons will transfer all the love they had for their departed kitty max onto some adopted babies. they want "an african and an asian." eric clapton wants to do it the old fashioned way. the 59-year-old's wife will give birth again in january (both from