Friday, July 30, 2004

popbitch says the impossible may happen. the smiths may reunite.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

if you're dying to read lindsay lohan's public confession of love for fez, look no further (via stereogum). that wilmer, he's popped "moore" cherries than jerry lee lewis.
i guess if you've been posing for the camera since you were thirteen, you're gonna take full advantage of your mugshots. the smoking gun posts kimora lee-simmons's jail-time pictorial with de rigeur red string bracelet (via gawker).
a nation mourns as one of its most beloved actors is charged with aggravated rape. anthony anderson, known for making us laugh in such break-out hits as my baby's daddy, big momma's house and see spot run, allegedly lured an extra into his trailer on the set of hustle & flow and assaulted her. assistant director wayne witherspoon was also charged. i, myself, struggle to reconcile the fact that someone who brought me such joy on "hang time", could bring another such pain.
i'm such a trendsetter. first, everyone and their mom (i.e., the wow report, newyorkish and defamer) do links to the bitter waitress website right after me and now does a post on the courtney love/donatella versace rehab connection. keep reading and i will eventually scoop them all.

apparently britney spears has not given up kabbalah despite the protests of her mother. defamer shows her reading the zohar. i studied parts of this doctrine back in 2000 and it is no beach read. i wonder if brit has the cliffs notes because something tells me her little louisiana brain won't be able to handle it without help.

this morning, on the way to work, i saw a paul scheer (from best week ever) lookalike and stared at him a little too long.

kylie is afraid she may be losing her boyfriend, olivier martinez, to michelle rodriguez. the two, who starred together in SWAT, were recently photographed in st. tropez. similar reports surfaced about olivier and angelina jolie when they filmed taking lives.

margaret cho is deepening her friendship with damien echols of the west memphis three, by writing a book about him. according to page six, she just visited echols in his maximum security prison. learn more about the injustice surrounding the three at

ben affleck will likely be seeing less of boston after the democratic convention, where he has been a staple, ends. it seems he has broken up with his short-term, beantown lady friend, enza sambataro. perhaps he is clearing the way for a relationship with the apparently newly single jennifer garner.

lance armstrong may be engaged to girlfriend sheryl crow. the pair did not correct hotel staffers in france when they referred to crow as armstrong's fiancee.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

looks like johnny depp is going back to his destructive roots. no, he didn't take up with kate moss again and start wrecking hotel rooms. on a break from charlie and the chocolate factory (a tim burton remake of the movie, willy wonka and the chocolate factory, which was the film version of the book, charlie and the chocolate factory), he crashed his new mercedes into the gates of his villa in france. to see a picture of his hideous benz mini-van, click on the prior link.
kabbalah red string update: now available at target (via gawker).

  • the simpsons will be outing a character in a gay marriage-related episode. i'm hoping for lenny/carl nuptials.
  • scarlett johansson continues to make herself known as a diva by refusing to be photographed with a british actress at a party. she was similarly snooty last month when she insisted that the press not be allowed into a calvin klein event.
  • benjamin mckenzie, aka ryan from the oc, spoke at the democratic convention. tonight, hillary duff gives a speech entitled "voting is totally cool (i wish i was 18)!" i bet hillary is not alone in that wish.
  • kimora lee-simmons was arrested sunday night and charged with possession, among other things. to think, i was watching her continually berate elyse on america's next top model last night and i had no idea.
  • looks like courtney love won't be alone in rehab. her friend, donatella versace is currently getting over a cocaine addiction (a la mary-kate?) at an undisclosed treatment center. love served as versace's muse in 1996 during her highly-publicized makeover period.
  • Tuesday, July 27, 2004

    literal love birds
    i guess paris thinks hooking up with your ex is "hot" because she was photographed with nick carter last night. if you're going to rebound, it might as well be with the guy you're rebounding from?!? that paris is as crazy as a three-legged cat!
    did you know that julia roberts is a notoriously bad tipper? now you do. read about other service industry employees' interactions with celebrities.

    find out about jennifer aniston's kojak connection and other bloodlines of the famous (via gawker).
    i just walked into one of the bathroom stalls to find a poster on the door for my enjoyment. the poster reads as follows:

    there is an individual who every afternoon uses this stall and sprinkles on the seat. if you are this individual, please use a seat cover or wipe the seat when you are finished. we don't like having to clean up your mess!

    the message was paraphrased, as i don't have a photographic memory. still, i am sure that the word "sprinkled" was used. who the fuck is the loser who typed this sign up, printed it out and took it, and a tape dispenser, into the bathroom and put it on the door? i mean, if the "individual" always "sprinkles" in that particular stall, why doesn't the sign-maker use another one? and who would use the word "sprinkle" and still be left with any dignity? i think it might be the same anal bitch who wrote a threatening email to someone in my area with a cell phone ring not to her liking. i'll let you know if i discover the truth.
    this morning's questions:
  • orlando bloom to play young james bond?
  • brando circumcised at 60?
  • gwen stefani has street cred?

    last night i saw a sneak preview of the metallica documentary some kind of monster. it was interesting, but, not being a metallica fan, it felt a little long to me. strangely enough, these dudes (some of the fugliest guys on earth) have the cutest kids ever. and lars ulrich's dad is the man. i actually kind of wish the movie was just about lars. he's the most interesting, with his art collection and issues with his aforementioned badass dad.
  • Monday, July 26, 2004

    uma and andre doing their best britney/kevin impression. maybe i would have more luck with the guys if i grabbed their packages in public.
    this is the best messageboard post ever! well, if you watched bug juice. it's pictures of the cast during the show and what they look like now. i started watching reruns of it on disney this past weekend and was wondering about them, so the timing couldn't be better.

    death cab for cutie is continuing it's quest to conquer all tv soundtracks with a cameo on six feet under last night. "transatlanticism" (the song, not the whole album) was part of a drug-induced sing-a-long by claire's art school friends. some of the writers really write claire and her "scene" well; kate robin (last night's writer) could use some work. the whole trip seemed lame to me, like what someone who never did drugs would think it would be like. also, can claire and mena suvari hook up already? the tension is getting over the top.

    britney continues her quest to out trash every celebrity in recent memory.

    paris hilton pulls a dunst and dumps nick carter. nick's website claims he made the decision.

    star wars episode III: revenge of the sith. next summer.

    Friday, July 23, 2004

    more gossip (all from imdb's movie/tv news)!
  • could jennifer garner's split from michael vartan be the result of smooching daredevil co-star, ben affleck? or is he just visiting her on the elektra set because he is doing a purple-suited cameo?
  • why is "ricky" making winona ryder cry in restaurant bathrooms?
  • britney finally agrees to a pre-nup. thank god because we know kevin wouldn't spend the proceeds from their inevitable divorce on anything useful, like shoelaces.
  • the british are so bad at gossip. if you're going to make up a story about a kirsten/jake doggy custody battle, at least get the doggy's name right. it's atticus, not lovely. who would name a german shepherd lovely?

    it seems cameron's putting the pressure on justin to prove his fidelity. her branding of justin's alleged british fling, lucy clarkson, as a "stupid bitch" in the latest us weekly, was not enough revenge. she's apparently pressured him to sue over the accusations. click here to see a tarty picture of the stupid bitch.

    74-year-old robert evens has divorced his 6th wife. he's better act quickly if he wants to fit me in as number 7 before he passes on. i'm not one to turn down ali macgraw's leftovers.
    today, in honor of the release of the director's cut, gawker points us to salon's detailed explanation of donnie darko. very conversational and very useful for those of you who are still trying to figure out this gem of a mind-boggler. (i have to admit, their guide to mulholland drive was my bible for a moment in 2002.)

    Thursday, July 22, 2004

    popbitch reports that sunglasses-obsessed usher pays his bodyguards to order his drinks: "Usher showed at P Diddy's party in Bottinos, NYC, last week that he's the newest diva on the block. Usher walked to the bar for a drink, but refused to talk to the barman. Instead, he waited for his bodyguard, whispered in his ear, and then the bodyguard spoke to the barman,'Usher will have a Bellini.' The barman mixed the drink and went to hand it to the star, but was stopped by the bodyguard, who explained that he was the only one allowed to hand Usher his Bellini. This is repeated through the evening. Usher's bodyguard then takes a packet of peanut M&Ms, asks for 5 wine glasses, separates the chocolates into the glasses by colour, and asks bar staff to take over to the star on a tray." also reported, cameron diaz has a personal armpit-shaver.

    Wednesday, July 21, 2004

    this is news? 1 out of 5 germans say that the point of drinking is to get drunk. i think at least 4 out of 5 of my friends would agree. what else would the point be? stalingrad vodka hasn't stayed in business because people enjoy the taste.
    it's official: kirsten and jake are over. when the toronto star and the irish examiner are reporting a break up, it's serious (that, and both their publicists have made statements). while now i can fantasize about jake with a clear conscience, i'm still quite sad about this news. i mean, they have a dog together. i have to admit i found it a bit peculiar that gyllenhaal did not show up at any of the innumerable spiderman 2 premieres, though.

    Tuesday, July 20, 2004

    now i can never get a red string bracelet and protect myself from the evil eye. even lindsay lohan is wearing one. maybe it will keep the press from digging up trashy stories about her dad.
    my benji madden sighting made it into defamer's privacywatch!

    finally some (somewhat) interesting gossip.
  • metallica's lars ulrich has been hooking up with demonlover connie nielsen. i can understand his interest there, but what she sees in him is far from overt. the nielsen romance comes right on the heels of ulrich's break up with wife skylar (matt damon's inspiration for the character of the same name in good will hunting). the real question is who in "the industry" will skylar date next?
  • another bed hopper, rosario dawson, is taking her cues from sex and the city by taking on smith jerrod (i.e., jason lewis). let's hope for her sake he can match those endowment rumors surrounding her former fling, colin farrell.
  • things may be getting shaky for brandon davis and mischa barton as they have been reportedly arguing all over la. could it be that barton is resparking an old flame with eamon early? early (whoever the hell he is) has also been romancing a russian new york socialite anna anisimova (whoever the hell she is).
  • kirsten, jake, tell me it isn't true! deep inside i am praying that my absolute fave (!) celeb couple has not broken it off. i was just reading a recent teen people article at the doctor's office this morning in which kiki issued a grocery list of mr. gyllehaal's attributes. anyway, didn't someone spot them having sex in a dressing room like five minutes ago?

    Monday, July 19, 2004

    after watching and (somewhat begrudgingly) enjoying the dreamers this past weekend, i decided to look up leonardo dicaprio-wannabe, michael pitt's resume.  i've been aware of the fellow since my days of watching dawson's creek in jewett basement.  i have to admit (also begrudgingly) that i kind of like him.  i think he does a really good job milking his puppy dog eyes and playing naive.  that being said, his greasy non-screen persona certainly leaves much to be desired.  does this kid ever take a bath?  anyway, i just found out he is dating xxx-alumna asia argento.  just thought you'd like to know...

    sandra bullock and her "monster garage" bf are the latest to join myriad celebrity couples in the joint hobby of ring shopping and creating wedding speculation. other as-of-yet unengaged couples who have proven to be rse's (ring shopping enthusiasts) include drew barrymore and fabrizio moretti, leo and giselle and renee zellweger and jack white.

    Friday, July 16, 2004

    even though i am clearly a willing member of this community, i still find the internet a little strange sometimes.  case in point, the only reason that i know my sister is in las vegas with her father and brother (not my father and brother for those of you not in the know) is because i read it in her blog.
  • stereogum shows us that britney's man likes a little tug now and then
  • defamer's hilarious first blind item

  • Thursday, July 15, 2004

    i read gossip-slingers, the ny post and the ny daily news every day online at work (obviously). i knew there was a competition between them but i had no idea how ugly it can get. lloyd grove's column in today's daily news both bashes the post and publishes some interesting comments that spike lee makes about nascar and black celebrities in the new playboy. (think chris rock's stance on that controversial n word.)

    courtney love is a comic book heroine on heroin.
    (spike and courtney via best week ever)
    my one-hundredth post: british email gossip column popbitch states "even as a teenager [courtney love] was enjoying sex threesomes with Elvis Costello and his wife" as if it were common knowledge. is it? pb also asks, "Which Oscar-winning actress is hiding her same-sex love preference behind a paparazzi-friendly relationship with another actor?" could it be newly-married mira sorvino? probably not, she's pregnant. what's your guess?
    i can't wait until i get pregnant and have a rushed ceremony/honeymoon at the san ysidro ranch. j. lo and m. ant are the latest to join the bandwagon that includes gwyneth and coldplay, scientologists beck and giovanni ribisi's sister and some girl from charmed. other nuptial visitors of the not knocked-up variety were the kennedys and laurence olivier and vivien leigh.
    in other (fake) celebrity wedding news, christina aguilera is set to beat britney to the altar.
    and since we're on the subject of trash, the human garbage that is vincent gallo bad mouths the indie film scene from alien-faced christina ricci to the ex-boyfriend of his blow job-giving co-star.

    Wednesday, July 14, 2004

    wtf? post of the day: newyorkish released a list of celebrity supporters of bush. come on shannen doherty, bruce willis and vincent gallo. you're smarter than that, aren't you?
    designers wear sneakers too. i happen to rock the same pair that marc jacobs does. do you?
  • duck for president - i read this children's book on my lunch break yesterday. it's clever.
  • if you like bowie, george michael, pink floyd or great dance music, then scissor sisters are your kind of party.

    NO SPOILERS: also, i saw i, robot last night. i enjoyed it, despite the bad buzz that has been circulating around it. it might not have brains or even subtlety, but it's a good, fun summer movie.
    here's what's good -
  • there's no inane will smith single that goes along with it (at least so far as i'm aware)
  • will reintroduces his street smart, sarcastic one-liner-spewing character that america loves (this could be a bad thing, depending on the viewer)
  • a cute sensitive robot that reminded me of my love for teddy in ai
  • robots swinging around like monkeys
  • seamless special effects
  • will's boss going all scarface on some robots
  • smith's body is insane
  • no forced love story
  • finally some jailbait for the ladies in the form of one shia labeouf

    here's what's bad -
  • not enough shia labeouf (his part makes no sense, as i'm sure they cut most of it but didn't want to screw him by cutting it all)
  • bridget moynahan rehashing the sandra bullock part in demolition man
  • the explanation dialogue at the end (very scooby doo and anyone intelligent [not the movie's target audience, i suppose] had already figured it out for themselves)
    one more thing: what's the last scene about?
    go see this one. it won't be as enjoyable on video.
  • gossip round-up:
  • vassar alum (and plagiarist of professors' jokes) noah baumbach is dating jennifer jason leigh. he must be getting hot if he is dating a celeb with indie cred and working with a director with it.
  • jenna, the first daughter we all know i have seen naked pictures of, is attempting to teach at a harlem school. weird.
  • christina aguilera is losing her hair.
  • Tuesday, July 13, 2004

    i never hung out with zoe jackson when i was at vassar but i still like seeing pictures of her in people magazine and the like. this story shows it's hard being samuel l.'s daughter. he point blank tells your dates not to fuck you. let's hope they don't listen or ms. jackson probably did not have a very authentic vassar experience.
    nothing much going on today. read about "literary" graphic novelists in the online version of the ny times magazine. (thanks to neil for this great story about an under-appreciated art form.)

    Monday, July 12, 2004

    i took in some things today while i was on my lunch break at the mall.

    first was a conversation that two girlfriends/sisters were having over their meal from sbarro. the younger one was telling her companion about a guy she had met, presumably that weekend. she emphasized how much they have in common, citing a shared love of travel (because that is such a rare quality, enjoying travel). as i continued to listen, i ascertained that the man in question was of a "different ethnicity". this didn't seem to cause much ado until i heard the elder girl utter, "but janice, is he christian?" sometimes i forget what the rest of america is like.

    secondly, i perused the gap to discover that, after a prolonged session of suckitude, they actually have some cool clothes right now.
    disgusting post of the day: i just plucked a hair out of my ear that must have been two inches long. (note: the hair grew from the side of the ear and not the ear canal the way that it does in old men.)
    postscript: this is not the first time this has happened.
    a joke that went too far? news of the world (via defamer)'s exclusive interview with britney's 2nd most famous ex makes it seem like there was more to it than that. reading this made me really sad about britney's state of mind. and the tawdry details were cool too.
    more '90s music news: courtney love was admitted to asylum to the stars, bellevue, after an apparent miscarriage and bottle-throwing ruckus related to her 40th birthday.

    former stone temple pilots and current velvet revolver frontman scott weiland has been ordered to enter his 6-millionth rehab program after pleading guilty to a dui charge from last october. the guy is still a smackhead, since about a year ago he was found with heroin in his car.
    for anyone out there who is still stuck in 1993, boyz II men, en vogue and silk are touring together as we speak. man, i hope i love the '90s does a segment on the boyz. i remember when "end of the road" was my favorite song...

    Friday, July 09, 2004

    i just returned from the bathroom, where i discovered that, at least in that light, my shirt and bra combination was almost entirely see-through. we're talking wet t-shirt contest here. i don't know how my parents let me leave the house looking like that.

    today i discovered, after reading about the black dahlia case on one of my favorite websites, crime library, and then researching the upcoming de palma film featuring scarlett johansson, that you can read the full text of w magazine's feature stories online. i remember frantically trying to read the britney cover story, in which she officially revealed what we already knew, while waiting to board a commuter flight at logan airport. all along the piece was right at my fingertips. i love a magazine that is so photo-heavy that it gives out its text for free. this is unfortunately not the case with a w story that page six previewed yeseterday about jude law's girlfriend, sienna miller. maybe i'm jealous that someone younger than me is dating the international super-hunk, but she sounds like a total prat. responding to the fact that the press would dare to call her an "it girl", miller spews, "Do I look like a fucking Hilton sister? Yeah, and check me out on the Internet having sex." miller would be lucky if she could even follow the career trajectory of former "it girl", gretchen mol. when questioned about her relationship with law, she scoffed, "It's not like I sit there thinking, 'God I'm dating someone who is very famous.'" if she's at all smart, that's exactly what she's doing, since her resume, mostly consisting of the cancelled keen eddie, leaves much to be desired.

    Thursday, July 08, 2004

    i'm feeling the section of this black table article (entitled it's a good thing: turn offs that turn the ladies on) extolling the virtues of the comic book nerd. i have fallen for at least two of these guys so far and there is no underestimating their charm. seriously. i've trampled through many a hobby store and website trying to satiate their action-hero desires. it's kind of hot. why the fuck else did i once own a 12-inch sabretooth figurine?
    okay, i'll post some celebrity nonsense. i saw the trailer for the cameron d. s&m video. pretty lame. from what i've heard, it doesn't get much more exciting than the preview. hadn't everyone already downloaded pictures of her boobs years ago?

    what is it with the celebrity obsession with covering bette davis eyes? zooey deschanel is the latest slave to the trend that started with gwyneth paltrow's version in the daddy-directed flop, duets. this year's sundance festival had paris hilton crooning the tune to then-new boyfriend nick carter. maybe, if we're lucky, the track will be featured on the next jennifer lopez lp.
    i was in la, i got sick and now i have returned. last night, i threw my back out while sneezing. nothing says seventy-year-old man like hobbling around while holding one's lower back. i thought i had planned ahead today by asking my mom to make me a sandwich so i wouldn't have to walk anywhere to get something for lunch. of course, i forgot the sandwich and ended up trekking to subway anyway. while i was there, i saw mark hamill's 21st-century doppelganger. he was wearing what i initially thought was an ironic john deere shirt, but as i soon discovered that he was in construction, it could have been completely serious. i suppose now that that '70s mop-top hairstyle is back in style, sightings like these will happen far more often. i still am a bit ashamed of my 3-year-old self for salivating over mr. skywalker rather than mr. solo.

    Thursday, July 01, 2004

    we have this weird coffee machine at work that also makes hot chocolate, tea, etc. when it is producing one of these several hot beverages, it makes the most disturbing sound. i liken it to the noise that a moose might produce were it slowly dying in the most agonizing way that one can imagine. i feel a shiver down my spine every time i hear it.
    the funniest thing i have heard all day (via ultragrrl): hillary duff is dating one of the dudes from good charlotte.