Wednesday, June 30, 2004

UPDATE (it must be important if i used caps): britney's maltese is not named apple. its name is lacy.
americans are so lame. i'm still struggling to accept the fact that the abortion-themed episodes of this season's degrassi: the next generation will likely never air here. everyone's favorite canadian teen drama is on the nickelodeon-owned "the-n", formerly named noggin, which could hardly be called controversial. still, they regularly screen episodes of my so-called life with sexual content. why not these degrassi shows? fans with information on the craig/manny pregnancy were specifically told not to mention it on the-n's message boards. the side plots aired as "mini-episodes" during commercials, further evidence that the network has no plans on airing the full shows in the future. from what i hear, manny made a very informed and responsible decision and the story line was far better handled than equally touchy subjects like abusive relationships and self-mutilation. it's disgraceful that in order to see the programs, i had to make a shady contact on the internet with connections in canada. maybe some day we will live in a society where women are seen as deserving the rights given to their unborn children. not to get too heavy...
thanks again go out to stereogum for this posting, which previews the upcoming people magazine issue with britney's wedding as a cover story. dog fans will undoubtedly be delighted to see that little "apple", and that mutt ms. spears is dating, grace the cover as well.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

thanks to stereogum for alerting me to these awesome michael ian black videos for the upcoming vh1 show, i love the '90s. i particularly enjoyed 1995 and 1996.
has it been only two months? my heart feels cold and empty. do i really have to wait until november 4th? these are thoughts that i am having as full-on oc withdrawal has taken a hold of me. i know that fox is trying to be edgy with its year-round programming concept, but i would rather watch reruns of adam brody than new episodes of quintuplets any day (sorry andy richter, your self-referentially-titled show ruled, though). i believe the oc has only aired twice since its season finale on may 5th. they must be trying to get us all riled up for the dvd's october release. it's working.
i've had one song in my head for the past few days after finally taking micky's advice and giving it a listen. you should too, farewell transmission off songs: ohia's magnolia electric co. cd.
just when i thought i couldn't love mko any more, star "confirms" that her rehab is actually for cocaine addiction. way to go! read defamer's humorous commentary on the revelation.
my idol of sorts, michael musto, explains the ins and outs of my dream job: the talking head. part two here.
weird technology update: Scientist Sees Space Elevator in 15 Years
the article on yahoo's front page reads as folows,
"'I have no doubt that our great-grandchildren will routinely use space elevators,' he said. 'But it will take another generation to gather the technologies needed...' The space elevator is not a new idea."
it certainly is not, i believe willy wonka came up with the idea in a little book called charlie and the great glass elevator.
i always sort of looked on in awe at the people who did this when i was in high school, but this morning, i am drinking coke at 8:57 am. my throat hurts and the carbonation makes it feel better. also, i kind of had a craving for it. that, and diner food. i don't know what's wrong with me.

on a different subject, last night's post should prove beyond any doubt why i should never write movie reviews or any reviews for that matter. i don't think that i am any good at explaining why i think that something is good or bad. it just is. but i do have to add a couple of more reasons why spidey 2 is sweet: the bruce campbell cameo and one of the best last sentences in a movie ever. i could be projecting with that one, though. i just wish i was the one saying it. i read a review in the washington post this morning that was positive. it spent a little too much time dwelling on why the reviewer is not attracted to kirsten dunst, including a criticism of her teeth (let's not get petty here). one last thing, i found that watching dr. octopus (who i keep wanting to call dr. octogon [blame kool keith]) scale skyscrapers left me really anxious for the peter jackson king kong. i don't know how i feel about andy serkis as the ape in question, however.

Monday, June 28, 2004

warning: do not read the following entry if you are not a self-confessed nerd.

i just got back from a sneak preview of spiderman 2 and it was rad and, like everyone is saying, better than the first one. everything that was good about the first movie is there in the second, except multiplied by two or three. this franchise is really proving itself as a standout from typical comic book fare in a number of ways. first of all, it's funny. there are some genuinely humorous moments in the film that feel natural rather than forced. the j. jonah jameson character continues to prove laugh-worthy and peter parker as a can't-win charlie brown, while overused, is well-acted by tobey maguire. another exceptional quality is the movie's humanity. it makes peter the sort of personality with whom one can identify in the way that a bruce wayne type never is. the action scenes were a million times better as well. there was far less noticeable computer imagery, though the scene in which spidey acts as a cross between stretch armstrong and mel gibson in braveheart proves an exception to that. many of the sequences at the beginning left me with the realization that i had not managed to breath for minutes at a time as i was so stressed out. one unfortunate oversight was the fact that not enough fights took advantage of both spiderman's and dr. octopus's ability to walk on walls. that considered, most any fight would be an improvement on the green goblin. i'll be honest, for a while, i was thinking to myself that the movie was not really proving itself that much better than the original, but the many endings made me eat my words. i am usually unhappy with the endings of most films, but this one left me pleased. sam raimi is truly dedicated to making these quality films and it shows.
there were bad aspects, of course. james franco, who is so awesome at the end of the movie, is so irritating at the beginning. he, as harry, keeps whining to peter about spiderman, using nearly the same lines each time. also, there is the standard comic book cheese: "the delicious john jameson"? mj remains an un-engaging character and a lot of the interraction between her and peter is hard to swallow. she kind of redeems herself in the end, though.
so basically, if you liked the first movie, you will love this one. if you're not susceptible to the charms of a well-made comic book film, clearly, stay away.
stereogum goes inside the lives of britney and kevin, hilarity ensues.
please let this be true. britney spears may be carrying a little federline in the oven. if so, federline, who is already father to one child and has another due next month, might be as potent as marc anthony has proven to be (two kids and rumored to be the father to two more [if his paternity test results were botched regarding the child of a 21-year-old miami waitress and j. lo is, in fact, knocked up.]). defamer points out another likely result of the pregnancy, an increase of britney headlines featuring the exclamation, "oops!"

Sunday, June 27, 2004

"there is nothing quite like a walrus for stirring extremes of fascination and fantasy in humans."
-national geographic special

Friday, June 25, 2004

puffy just gets weirder and weirder. this year at his annual white party in the hamptons (everyone must be wearing all white to attend), he will display an original copy of the declaration of independence, page six reports. i guess he thinks our founding fathers were the original "bad boys for life".

i encourage any californians out there to try and stop your governor from repealing a law that requires animal shelters to keep stray dogs and cats six days before euthanizing them. think of the poor kittens and puppies.
check out this onion story on celebrity blogs.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

this is like, the most messed-up thing i have ever heard.
i think the pain in my feet has gone to my head, making me unable to come up with much interesting content for you today. instead, i bring you the (very) short history of styrofoam. it turns out that styrofoam is actually a kind of plastic. i commend anyone who actually knew that. i did not and pondered what this easily chewable substance, sitting on my desk, containing my water, actually consisted of, leading me to about.com's handy website entitled, "the invention of polystyrene and styrofoam". there i discovered the following tidbit, "Introduced in the U.S. in 1954, Styrofoam® is a trademarked name, the real name of the product is foamed polystyrene." imagine, that tearable, chewable substance was plastic all along.
the only exciting news that i have for today is that i now know how to post images. that's britney's new puppy, apple.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

i just realized that anyone who looks me up on google can find my cell phone number via a resume that i posted last summer. this is totally creepy, but somehow, i find people reading my resume even creepier. i'm really embarrassed of the thing actually. i am doing my best to remedy the situation, yet the offending site appears not to be properly working. at least whoever is strange enough to look me up on google will think that i live in boston, rather than with my parents.
in a very close competition (who am i kidding?), lauren has won the prize for first emailing me at my new gmail account. lauren will receive a doodad from my upcoming visit to los angeles (yes, i'm going again. maybe this time i will see long duk dong and john bobbitt).
the following hilarious excerpts were taken from an email that former "access hollywood" correspondent and p. diddy video star, pat o'brien sent to his "ah" colleague, shaun robinson. page six published the email today that, however true, must have o'brien feeling pretty stupid right now.

"Shaun . . . Your behavior to me over the past few years has been a sickening joke. From the day you called [former NBC Enterprises president] Ed Wilson and said I was creating a hostile situation . . . to last week when you went postal on my friend and accused me of an affair . . . and talked to me like a five-year-old gang member.

"I have never known anybody so disliked in a newsroom and it's well deserved. You push people to the limits and you are so needy and demanding . . . it is scary.

"This is tough love, Shaun. You have the worst reputation I've ever seen in the business . . . and your constant attempt to get me fired was such a joke to everybody it was hard to contain the laughter.

"But now I am gone . . . and you made my departure so easy . . . I've never worked with anybody so conflicted and sad and insecure and so needy. They all know it . . . and it must be sad for you to realize that you are literally hated by most . . . Don't you EVER EVER make things up about me. Don't you EVER EVER tell your friends I'm a bad employee . . .

"People laugh at you. But they are afraid of your always taking the race card . . . You'll always be a little person that people feel sorry for . . . You cannot believe how much you are disliked. Try and repair it . . . or you'll be back in local news before you know it . . . with no wardrobe people to yell at every day. 'Did [co-host] Nancy [O'Dell] get that, I WANT THAT.' Pathetic. BuhBye . . . And have a great, miserable life. Pat."

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

it's weird when you run into someone in the bathroom more than once on a particular day. it makes me wonder, are we consuming the same amount of liquid, do our bladders run on a similar cycle, does she follow my every move? none of this seems to be the case for me and the bathroom gamer, who i have yet to overhear playing tetris in the toilet again.
add demi moore and liv tyler to the neverending list of pregnant celebrities. if you mix these two upcoming babies (one half-brit and one kabbalist) together, you almost get madonna's progeny.

more breaking news: my beautiful mary-kate has entered an eating disorder clinic. good for her; that skin has been looking practically transparent as of late.
thanks to tyler, who is the coolest person in the world, i now have a highly coveted gmail account. did i mention that tyler is the coolest person in the world? he is also the co-editor of the world famous tardo magazine. if you would like to be the first person to contact me at my new gmail account, you should do so. it's the same as my hotmail account except the _ is now a . the first person to correctly email me at this new address will win a prize. send me your address in the email so that i can deliver the *prize* to you.

Monday, June 21, 2004

update: i have had two complimentary observations of my new hair color since my complaint earlier this morning. i forget that in adult-land, where hair is most often colored in order to cover up greys, it is polite not to notice such changes audibly.
i have a request: if you comment anonymously solely because this forum only lets current blogger-users use their names, just sign your name anyway.

for example: kate, your blog is so lame -tito.

if you're being anonymous because you're embarrassed to be talking to me, continue to hide your identity. i have a clue who you are, but i could be off-base. actually, not knowing who you are is driving me crazy. in a good way? i'm not sure.
oh god, i think i might fall asleep at my desk.
today's disappointments: as per usual, i have nothing to do at work.
except for britney's engagement (which was actually leaked last week), there seems to be a lack of new gossip today.
no one at my office has noticed that my hair color has been dramatically altered since friday.
i can't seem to conjure up the balls to ask for a couple of days off.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

sweet victory. after days of trying, i have won my own plush weinermobile!

Friday, June 18, 2004

i can just tell that some of you were outraged at my lack of coverage of the olsen twins' 18th birthday. because of that inexcusable oversight on my part, i had planned on treating you with a number of recent paparazzi shots of the girls. however, upon reaching my favorite site for such brazen disrespect of m-k and a's privacy, i found the following message: DO NOT LINK DIRECTLY TO MY PICTURES! alas, you will have to settle for this graduation shot instead. this is proof that even the prettiest billionaires cannot pull off the cap and gown look.
it's friday and i'm antsy, questioning my life choices. should i move out of my parents' house where i am sadly, embarrassingly comfortable and attempt becoming an adult (albeit a pathetically needy and pop-culture obsessed adult) again by moving in with my library school-bound friend? i kind of have it really good at home. i mean, i get along with my parents and even enjoy their company and i avoid all bills except those of the student loan and credit card variety. however, living without a license in the somewhat isolated, isolating village of montgomery, leaves me quite without a social life. still, living the apartment life brings me further from my goal of procuring myself a mini cooper. so, the question is really this: should i go on living my life in maryland as a pit stop in which i can pretend that this is not really my life for at least another year? or should i accept the fact that, right now, my life does exist within a mostly 15-mile radius of my childhood home, grow up and move out? it's a tough question. my money is on continuing my deluded pit-stop mentality. but i could fool myself.
the black table has introduced me (and its countless other readers) to the weirdest blog ever. i thought it was only right to do the same for you.
google is a dangerous tool for the bored and obsessive. it's so easy to be instantly reminded that someone you once dated is still a foxx (now literally) and that everyone around you is more successful than you will ever be. my only consolation is that madonna didn't really find fame until the age of 26.
briefs: everyone and their mother is reporting madonna's adoption of the moniker "esther" as news lately, while any madge fan worth her boy toy belt has known about the name change for at least a year.

in the "couldn't have seen that coming from a mile away" announcement of the day, jesse palmer, the most recent bachelor, and his bachelorette of choice, 22-year-old jessica, have called it quits.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

today, i saw the most disturbing thing that i have seen all week (and that includes watching helplessly as my dog threw up at my feet). i was at borders around 2:10 and was walking towards the magazine racks, when a seemingly harmless woman and her two little girls appeared in my range of vision. "mom" was dressed in a white, frilly tank and blue gingham pencil skirt with those high-heeled flip flops. her daughters looked ready for their close-up in the next abercrombie kids catalog. the youngest of the two younguns motioned toward the life magazine special issue, "ronald reagan: a life in pictures". as she is about 7-years-old, i assumed she was boasting to her mother of her knowledge of current events (i.e., "look mommy, there's that dead president!") unfortunately, i was wrong. the instant our bleached-blonde heroine (or is it villainess?) saw the magazine, she gasped as if the lifeless corpse of mr. reagan had appeared before her eyes and asked her if she would like a licorice jelly belly and then snatched the issue of life from the shelf. i was horrified and intrigued at the same time.
sure, they only get paid in the snot that runs out of their tiny, collegiate noses after their first story gets ripped to shred by their editor, but how come the interns get to have a pizza party and i don't?
today i discovered that one of my colleagues uses the handicapped stall on the far side of the bathroom as her own den of videogamery. i made this revelation after hearing a series of unmistakable beeping noises while relieving myself earlier today. i wonder if it was the sounds of a gameboy-toting bowel-mover or a bored intern with a fancy game-laden mobile phone. more on this story as it develops...

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

i am so glad that i never broke down and bought those britney spears tickets. she cancelled her tour after an unfortunate spill she took on the set of her "outrageous" video (which was then followed up by knee surgery). luckily snoop dogg was there to call the paramedics. i find the fall a perfect retaliation from the heavens, as the video in question is the one for pedophile r. kelly's contribution to the "in the zone" album (and also it's worst track). let's hope the movie that it is now attached to, the grim-looking catwoman, follows suit at the box office.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

i have a crush on the office assistant. he is the only thing that makes work bearable. he always keeps me amused with his antics, like painting pictures and seductively raising his eyebrows. his name is rocky. he is an animated yellow dog and i love him. at first i decided on links. she was cute enough (especially her reading glasses), but she didn't have the heart and loyalty of rocky. if i'm bored, i just click on rocky and tell him to dance for me. or draw. or destroy something with a blowtorch. he does it all. now i've heard that some people don't like the office assistant. some microsoft employees even tried to kill him. but he has survived it all. of course he did; how can you not love this face?
everyone has been asking, so i guess i have to oblige. madonna was great. i don't care what anyone else says, she still puts on a rad show. and she displays no signs of slowing down. sometimes her ideas are a little misguided and/or derivative but i mean, it's f-king madonna. no one has ever looked so good in camouflage. suspiciously missing, however, were the pregnant back-up dancers. i was a little disappointed by their absence and that of "love profusion," but overall it would definitely make it into the top 5 shows of all time list. especially because of my awesome seats. really top notch. after i saw them, i had to break down and buy that t-shirt i was coveting. it was 10 bucks cheaper at the show too. by the time i left, it was sold out, so i feel it was money well spent.

Monday, June 14, 2004

i have been going to the bathroom approximately 50 times a day at work. i am beginning to think that the people in my area suspect that i am on the verge of incontinence. it's not as if the bathroom is a cool hang out, either. i really have to go that often. i have been drinking a fair amount of water, but nowhere near the amount that one is supposed to drink in order to stay healthy. it's a mystery, indeed.

regarding my reading habits, i have been trying to improve them and have started this endeavor with the chuck klosterman book, fargo rock city. never have i felt so insufferably uncool for not knowing my way around the motley crue and poison catalogs. i don't think i actually ever heard of crue until the 90s, but my introduction to poison, i remember well. there was this girl in my neighborhood who was probably 15 when i was 7 (making her about the same age as my sister at the time, but comparably much cooler). imagine the kind of girl who would go to a poison concert in 1987 and you pretty much have the exact image of her in your head. anyway, for some reason, she bothered to hang around me and my neighborhood friend patrice. all i really remember is that i thought she was dangerous (in a good way) and that my parents could not know that i spoke with her. she also liked poison and u2 and wrote their names in chalk on the street. this convinced me that both of these groups must be what was called "heavy metal". i had never actually seen or heard poison, but i already knew they were not for my 7-year-old ears. in the next year or two, my sister would play the u2 "rattle and hum" tape while riding in the car with me and my mother. i would overhear a discussion about "helter skelter" and for years think that bono had killed a pregnant woman and written the word "pig" on the wall with her blood. this is a whole different story, of course. so anyway, if you want to read a somewhat sociological account of metal, you should read this book. it's pretty good.
tonight, i am going to see madonna. i am very thrilled as my seat is much better than the one that i had on the drowned world tour. it should be, though, because i spent about $175 on it. now i am coveting one of the t-shirts that they will be selling. i don't know if i can shell out $45 for an "italians do it better" tee, however, considering i'm not even slightly italian.

on a different note, i thoroughly encourage everyone to enter the win the wienermobile for a day contest. write a 50-word explanation of what you would do with said mobile and you might just get the chance. there is also a daily drawing for wienermobile bean bag toys. 500 free a day! alas, i was not a winner. if you are, please comment.

Friday, June 11, 2004

the day for which i have been waiting since november 2002 is finally here and it seems that, in all likelihood, i will miss it. i won't be missing the entire day, of course, but i will be missing my reason for so highly anticipating it. that's right, my friends, it appears as though i will not be attending the new garfield movie, featuring two of today's biggest stars, breckin meyer and jennifer love hewitt. god was clearly mocking me when he put together the incredible vocal talents of nick cannon and debra messing, knowing that i would only be able to bear witness to their greatness if i did so alone. no, unfortunately i appear to be the only person on this coast who is the least bit excited about this epiphany of a film. both the washington post and the new york times failed to give it the rave reviews it no doubt deserves. i guess i will have to settle for the other bill murray movie that i am planning to see tonight. you know, that one by that director who's really popular with the art school crowd.
this item from today's gawker stalker is too good to be true, especially after seeing mr. rudd in the flesh last year and thinking him quite handsome:
· i sat behind paul rudd (phoebe's husband, clueless) on jet blue from long beach to jfk. check this: as he made a fuss about the really hot girl sitting next to him switching seats with his totally gay friend from the back of the plane. what gives? she seemed really bummed. also, he was digging for gold or something in his nose. he picked it, deep, for five minutes straight, rolling the goods in his thumb and forefinger every few seconds. gross. wasn't shy about getting out of his seat at least 5 times and showing his face off to the rest of the plane.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

tonight's (or technically last saturday's) mtv movie awards did not:
signify the end of the hillary duff and (host) lindsay lohan feud;
convince me that said host's breasts are real;
mark the first public appearance of britney spears and kevin federline;
show eminem's bare buttocks; or
prove to be at all entertaining.

the show did manage to feature:
a fairly good parody of kill bill vol. 2, until andy dick showed up;
a pathetic girl-on-girl kiss involving paris hilton and carmen electra;
a smoking hot kirsten dunst in a look i thought no one could pull off, the jumpsuit; and
a little person made up to look like a goblin and forced to stand in a cage that served as the event's podium.
2nd blind item: what sexy new york city editorial assistant turns 23 today? this wacky and witty lady passed on a position with one of the city's notorious editors to work at one of the more feminist women's magazines. hint, she has an affinity for wearing loud t-shirts (think founder's day 2002) and (that same day) introduced me to the blood orange.
this is so good, it deserves its own post.
my first blind item (stolen from la.com): "[what] clotheshorse and big spender . . . spends [sic] hours and hours trying on only fashion’s costliest threads[?] Problem is, she’s so careless about her personal hygiene that once she wears something, it reeks so badly of her personal scent that it can’t possibly be sold retail anymore--so her try-ons first get seriously dry-cleaned, then shipped to discount racks. The doll is so stanky that after she completed shooting her recent hit movie, the wardrobe people burned her costumes to a crisp because they were totally unusable. This helps explain why she hooked up with her slightly less famous current squeeze, whose many erotic fetishes include flooding his sniffer with overripe body aromas." the website's readers suggest everyone from penelope cruz to kirsten dunst. i immediately thought j. lo, but i think one person's guess of salma hayek is way more likely. do you have any ideas?
after being berated for my "bread and butter" post, i am returning to (what i do best?) celebrity gossip. and thus, i write. justice is being served. for the last few weeks, culminating today, i have been slightly disturbed by lindsay lohan's insistence in using the word "retarded" when speaking to the press. first, she called the rumors of her boob job retarded, then she called the hype about her brawl with hillary duff retarded, now she uses the word to describe a paparazzi chase that she was involved in this week. i mean, i call stuff retarded all the time, a remote that doesn't work, my friends, fellow drivers, but i would never say it to the press. an advocacy group, the arc, is going to try to teach this important lesson to miss lohan as well. they're sending her a note to explain her series of faux pas. she should consider taking their advice to heart, since half of her fans are probably retarded anyway.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

the news that made my day: texas quarters have been released to the public as of june 1st! don't click here if you wish to save your delight for when you receive your first one of these bad boys from a cashier. i, however, could not resist. while going through my change purse for a few shiny coins to feed to the vending machine in exchange for some of the world's favorite candy, i saw a michigan quarter. this made me wonder, "when is the next state quarter due to bring childlike joy to the masses?" a quick visit to the us mint website alerted me to the fact that a new quarter could be in my greasy mits any day now. these quarters are another geeky indulgence of mine. i even have one of those maps that has a place for each of the 50 states' contributions to the project. some day it will hold a place of honor in my very own apartment.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

i'm dying for some bread and butter. there was this article in seventeen magazine about sarah polley when the sweet hereafter came out. she said that she could live on bread and butter alone. right now, i have to echo her sentiment. i don't think i could ever be on one of those bread-free diets. i'm always the person who asks for the second basket of bread at a restaurant. and while i enjoy a little olive oil now and then, i usually feel cheated if i don't get my individually wrapped butter packages along with the basket. i'm trying to figure out where i could go for lunch that would have some bread and butter. i'm drawing a blank. everywhere i can think of requires you to be served rather than just place an order at a counter. any suggestions?

Monday, June 07, 2004

"hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya": if you're feeling the pressure to wax more than philosophically these days, you should read this article on the subject from your fellow females at black table. save one unsuccessful attempt at home-waxing, i am still a relative virgin when it comes to this topic. these days i'm looking more like peaches than pamela anderson. i hope that leaves you with a most pleasant visual. sorry about that.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

i just saw this introduction to ronald reagan's death on the aol news page, "Nancy by His Side at End: Ronald Reagan's fierce protector was by his side and his caregiver." no matter how hard i tried, i could not forgive the person who wrote it. newsworthiness does not excuse poor sentence structure.

Friday, June 04, 2004

okay, as i discovered shortly after publication of my last post, i had been worrying for no reason. but now you all know a little more about me, i despise grammatical mistakes (or at least those mistakes that i know are mistakes because i am familiar with their corresponding rule). maybe i should follow my current career path and become an editor. it's kind of great to circle a misplaced comma with a bright red pen, bringing the comma user's errors into full view. maybe i take pride in highlighting other people's mistakes. if so, it's only because misery loves company. really britney, keep hanging out with that white trash dancer. the fact that i make fun of you for doing so doesn't mean i don't still love you. i just love you in a whole new way. like when i came to terms with the trashiness of x-tina's pantsless chaps and came to care for her like my slutty twin sister. i'm only teasing you because i know you would jab me with the "you live with your parents again" line every time. we can cry into our cocktails together and it will only make us stronger. but back to the grammar. i am happy to report that i am still the high-bidder on the grammar bestseller that is the talk of my beloved uk (even more so than apple martin). i'll keep you posted as to whether or not i win.
i hate typos. seriously. i hate them. i think everyone who knows me knows that i am not, by any means, a perfectionist. nevertheless, i hate mistakes of the written word. my last entry had two glaring typos that i discovered shortly after publishing. i went and changed them right away like a good squirrel would do. however, my changes are not showing up in the version on the front page. to read my mistake-free blog rant, please click on the topic of question. who knows? by the time this is published, the mistakes may have disappeared and my typo-fairy godmother may have come to my rescue. in the meantime, i will loyally use spell-check before every subsequent publication and pray for a grammar check in the near future.
i have a new look. i really like polka dots. i hope that if anyone reads this, they like polka dots too. on another blog-related topic i choose to rant. i, clearly, am new to the blog-writing community. i probably have no right to complain about how others use this, for lack of a better phrase, form of self-expression. however, certain types of blogs piss me off: the anonymous but not anonymous celebrity blog and the truly anonymous "celebrity" blog. if you want to do a blog, fred durst, and you want everyone who reads it to know it's you, call it fred durst's blog. if you want to do an anonymous blog, ben affleck, owen wilson or whoever you are (gary coleman?), then don't go around dropping hints and making allusions to the high-class events that you attend. i mean, if you really didn't want anyone to know who you are, you would just leave well enough alone. also, i really don't care that you were unaware that spago moved. clearly you are too busy ditching the london premiere of your last flop to to note the new address. of course, there are other non-celebrity blogs that make me cringe. but i am above airing my dirty laundry on the internet.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

i'm seething about this story that the post has published today. not because i think it's wrong of a so-called fashion designer to take advantage of her "little sister," the i'm so blase about my sex life, teenage indie film queen turned calvin klein/louis vuitton model scarlett johansson, but because american pie star tara subkoff is dating wes anderson. this is news to me as well as news that frankly puts my head in a spin. i thought the imitation of crap designer was jimmy fallon's beard not anderson's love slave. why do cute geeky directors have to date flighty blondes instead of me?

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

i feel like a total shit, it's been so long. i was at the beach and had very little internet access. now i am at a new job and i have very little privacy. who knows when i will be back. sorry to leave you hanging. i promise to K.I.T.